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Never say never

By DragonLady on May 28, 2015

I’ve done a few things lately that I swore I’d never do. Like plucking and shaping my eyebrows. I wore my bushy, manly brows like a badge earned from railing against conforming to western feminine culture. But then I decided to get my eyebrow pierced, and one of my coworkers talked me into eyebrow maintenance.

And I haven’t gotten the piercing. Yet.

I also said I would never get back up to 200 pounds. But I did.

It’s not the number on scale so much as the clothes that are no longer fitting, or at least not fitting comfortably. And the reason my spare tire got reinflated is that I stopped eating healthy and running regularly. I stopped being disciplined about my physical health.

It’s a discipline issue.

I was reminded that I know how to eat healthy, and I know how to exercise regularly. I’ve done it before. I lost 40 pounds, and felt great. (Physically) I can do it again, but I have to discipline myself to do it.

I made myself a schedule. That would be another thing I wasn’t ever going to do. Oh, I’ve been all about putting appointments on the calender, but not planning out my days like I did.

Because it seemed legalistic.

I stood at my whiteboard and wrote down everything I have to do every day (critical tasks) and at what times. Like work and sleep. I made those non-negotiables. Although even that is within reason because of Thursday night rehearsal. I’m not getting home before 9pm from rehearsal, and therefore won’t be in bed by 9pm. But that’s also (normally) only twice a month.

I then listed out essentials like church and meetings. I don’t have to do these like I have to go to work, but I am making them non-negotiables nonetheless. My spiritual and emotional health are dependent upon those.

Then I worked in “me time.” These are also non-negotiable because 1) I need alone time to recharge because I am an introvert, 2) I need time for self-care (exercise, meditation, reading), and 3) I have interests that I am going to work on that I need alone time for – like writing.

I even scheduled social time even though church, meetings, and the running club constitute social time also. But it’s a more specific social time like coffee/dinner with friends.

All because in order to do everything I want and need to do for my health, I need some serious discipline. I know me. I know what I do without structure, and it is largely unproductive.

And so now I am telling myself that I should not say, “You will never be able to get your life manageable because you will never be organized.”

I’ve never really tried.

This entry is filed under Diet, Exercise, Life, Recovery, Semi-confessional, Video.

Happy New Year (at the end of January)

By DragonLady on January 31, 2015

January is practically over. Where has the month gone? I mean it seems like just yesterday I was complaining about how long it was taking to get to January 20. That is another post that I might eventually finish and publish. Aw, what the heck. That was my 1 year mark. 1 whole dang year sober.

I deliberately didn’t do a 2015 goals post. No sense in setting myself up for failure. That isn’t to say I don’t have any goals, but I know some of them aren’t going to happen until spring. Like running consistently. I did, however, run New Year’s Day morning. I did another run on my own and then did a run with Karyn like we used to do back in the day. You know, I knew I missed running with her, but I didn’t really realize how much I missed it until that run. And I got to see Molly again! It was a short visit, but it was so great to see her face to face again.

I’m back with the worship team at church. I had really missed playing and singing with them, and, well, it just seems like more fun now. Probably because I’m not so stressed out in general as I was for a while.

Jamie has her driver’s license and her Granny’s car, so I have a go-fer now. And she drives herself to her appointments. And takes Chad and James to theirs. And makes me carsick when I ride with her. So now she can get a J-O-B. So can James. And Chad.

I successfully completed my chiropractic treatment plan. Oh man. It is so nice to not wake up with a headache every single day. Granted, I woke up with one this morning, but I’ve been sick all week, and it’s not just my head that hurts. Anyway, I only have to go once a month now.

On the subject of fewer appointments, I have mentally and emotionally recovered enough that I only have to see my therapist every 3 weeks. She really pisses me off sometimes when she tells me what I don’t want to hear…or address. 😉

Speaking of addressing things, my diet. Ugh. It got bad over Christmas and subsequently so did the pain in my joints. And I got so glutened. So I will be cooking today in an effort to reduce the processed food I am ingesting. And saying no to candy, though I would like to know what I did with the Dove bar I bought last night that seems to have not made it from Lowes to my house.

Amber is pregnant again. That cat is such a ho.

This entry is filed under Diet, Exercise, Family, Life, Ramble, Running, Video. | 2 Comments

Making the most of it

By DragonLady on February 17, 2014

I had to run a virtual 5k this weekend because my foot was broken the previous weekend. “Broken” is an exaggeration. It hurt like it was broken, but 1) I didn’t go to the doctor over it and 2) whatever I did to it happened at work while I was sitting at my desk. Saturday was just nasty windy, and so was yesterday morning. But after noon yesterday, the wind died down some, and the sun was out and I made myself go run. I tried every way I could think of to not do it and yet still count it, but I finally just texted Karyn and Molly “Tell me to run,” knowing they would give me that bit of motivation I needed to just go do it.

I hated every single step of that run.

But. I’m working on finding bright spots among the suck. As I approached the halfway point, I noticed a pond. I’ve run past that house countless times, but yesterday was the first time I noticed that pond behind it. I noticed the squirrels, which really isn’t unusual. I noticed the frogs croaking in the ditch on the way back, and noticed how once I got past them, they stopped. And, by the way, I love the sound of a bunch of croaking frogs. I stopped at a neighbor’s house and chatted with him for a minute (pausing the workout – lol), and learned he was a boxer when he was younger.

The actual running (and my time) sucked, but the rest of it didn’t.

I tried to get the dogs in the photo with me, but only Brownie would even remotely cooperate. I also ripped a hole in the butt of my running tights while trying to get the dogs in the shot. :-/ But it really was a beautiful day for a run. The race was the Stop Stroke Shuffle 5k. Enjoyed supporting Dani’s cause, and would not feel the donation wasted if I hadn’t run. Thank you Dani for the reason to get off my butt! 🙂

This entry is filed under Exercise, Life, LinkWhoring, Maniacal Monday, Photos, Running, Thankful. | 4 Comments

“This was dumb!”

By DragonLady on January 7, 2014

Remember when I said there might be a weekend post? 😉

The first race of 2014 is done. Karyn and I ran the Morrow Mountain 15K. Well, sort of. 3 mountain peaks: Sugarloaf, Hattaway, and Morrow Mountains. Many stops were made up the first mountain, and I rolled my ankle on the way down. 2 miles in, and I considered stopping. By halfway, I was sure I had broken a toe. But we powerwalked it out until I couldn’t do much more than just keep moving. Karyn wouldn’t leave me (even at the end when I told her to – lol), and so she heard me drop the f-bomb and repeatedly complain about needing to poop. #everybodypoops

Did I mention it was cold? Karyn wore 4 layers, and I just wore 3. I should have worn another layer, and I sure should have worn thicker gloves. I had the temp blocked, but Karyn said it was 14F when we started.

Did I mention this was a trail race? At the top of the first peak, I stopped for a minute, looked at Karyn and said “This was dumb!” She said that sounded exactly like Jamie. Apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. lol

Even had a downed tree across the 2nd loop.

I just kind of rolled over it. But the scenery was beautiful even if we did lose our sunshine, and I was afraid of tumbling down the mountains to my death. Or at least intense pain.

At the top of the last peak, Karyn told the guys at the aid station that I had rolled my ankle. They asked if I needed a ride down. During the last mile, I regretted turning down that ride. Anyway, we were still well ahead of the sweeper, and had just under 3 miles left of which they said was 90% downhill. That last mile was the longest ever. Karyn said it was at least 12 miles long. And it was about that time that another racer came up out of nowhere catching up with us. Kept trying to telepathically tell Karyn not to stop for me and not to let that woman beat us. When we finally got within sight of the finish line, I told Karyn out loud not to stop or slow down for me and to go finish. But she didn’t, and so we were the last 2 because I didn’t have anything left to push across the finish line before that other chick. And Karyn refused to leave me even that close. That’s a true friend because I know how competitive she is. 🙂

Yeah, I was dead last, but we were both 3rd in our age groups. Of course I would have been 2nd if it hadn’t been for that chick that beat us at the end. 😉

And what we never did last year, we did for this one. An after photo.

It took almost 3 and half hours. 3:27 and some change. When we got back to the car (and I am pretty sure they moved the parking lot about a mile away from where it was when we got there) and took our gloves off, our hands were all swollen and blue. I almost freaked out over that. Thank goodness I was too tired to freak out. lol. My right shin and calf started cramping in Troy, and I almost pulled over and had Karyn drive us back.

We both agree that was the hardest race ever! But, oh, man, it was fun! And I am so glad we got to run together again! I missed my running partner!

This entry is filed under Exercise, Photos, Running. | 4 Comments

Maniacal Monday #27

By DragonLady on December 9, 2013

I’m in a pretty craptastic mood (still), and actually spent yesterday evening looking forward to going to work.

I got up Saturday morning and ran the 12ks of Christmas. I mostly ran the whole thing. James called me right at the last mile and nearly threw me all off so I walked up that last hill while putting my phone back in the carrier case. But, I ran down the final stretch determined not to be dead last. lol. And I got the finisher’s medal, and most of the tribers waited on me to finish, and Nicole and George both gave me hugs which was just so sweet. My 1 picture was made when I finally got back to the car.

Oh, and I am still tremendously sore. :sigh:

George invited me to a race on Facebook, and I thought it looked interesting and invited Karyn also just because. Well, she will actually be in town, and so we are both registered for the Morrow Mountain Trail Race 15K which we may or may not end up regretting. And on that note, I think we both signed up for 14 in 2014. I did anyway, and I think Karyn is going to if she hasn’t already. I don’t plan on running anything longer than the Tar Heel 10 Miler, and that one only because I signed up for it last year. Because finisher’s medal. 😉

And the broken out window in the living room finally got fixed. It’s not completely fixed, but the panes are in place and just need to be caulked in. But it didn’t happen before tragedy struck. Sushi/Mako somehow got out of it, and the dogs made short work of ending her life. :wail:

RIP Sushi/Mako

I got caught up on grading this weekend, and got the kids’ work graded, mostly recorded, and new schedules made. There was one portion of Jamie’s Algebra II that I reassigned with “We will go over this together,” because she 1) didn’t seem to get it and 2) had a big “help” written on one of the assignments.

So, I went to YouTube looking for a Fleetwood Mac’s Oh Well, and found this.

This entry is filed under Adventures in Homeschooling, Exercise, Fail, Life, LinkWhoring, Maniacal Monday, Photos, Ramble, Running, Sad, Video. | 2 Comments

Maniacal Monday #24

By DragonLady on November 18, 2013

Here’s how this day has gone so far. I get to Starbucks this morning, and one of the baristas came up and said “Good morning Martha! What would you like this morning?” Me: “Valium.” And she started to pull out a cup before she realized what I said. She got a good laugh as I handed her my cup and said blonde. I am quite sore today. I’m thinking maybe I did too much over the weekend.

First, I got glutened Friday at lunch. Usually I can get away with fajitas at the Mexican restaurants with no ill effects. Without the tortillas, of course. But they were crazy busy, and I ate one of Walter’s shrimps trying to make him out to be a wimp because no way his could have been more spicy than my spicy pumpkin dip. It was a delayed burn, but I have also had what he had and got glutened, so that could have been it. I haven’t been horribly effected yet, so it wasn’t a big glutening.

Since it was extended, I did the Dynamic Duel Canada vs USA 5k Saturday, only as it’s own run instead of the previous weekend’s combo run. And Saturday’s 5k = 5.4 miles. It was painful too. My knees hurt intermittently throughout the entire run. And my time sucked at 44:02. I hope this weekend’s 5k is better.

I got up yesterday and decided to go on a bike ride since I didn’t get around to it Saturday. I went the big loop by Deep River Park which is 11 miles of up and down. The 9.5 mile loop is more down than up. I pushed up the hill-to-be-conquered. I made a lot of stops. I nearly had to stop and puke around mile 3. But I got it done, and have been in pain ever since. Everything hurts.

We (hubs and I) went grocery shopping Saturday. The big just got paid trip. I needed some guitar strings and new picks, and also needed shampoo specifically from Target, so I planned out an Apex trip. We get to QuarterNote Music, and I did so well staying on target for strings and picks. Got ’em, paid for ’em, and as I was walking out the door, I looked back and saw 6 or 7 electric guitars on sale. They were all used, and 3 of them were under $100. So, yeah, I almost made it out the door with only what I went in for.

I told the lady checking me out that it just became the answer to either fixing or replacing my old one. I’m still going to get the old one fixed. It has too much sentimental value. 🙂 But, the new one sounds so much better and it is so easy to play. I spent several hours playing and tweeking to get just the right sound. Right for me that is. 😉 All this while the kids each had a friend over. Chad said he was pretty embarrassed when I was singing We Got the Beat. LOL!

Then we went to Target, aka Targzhay. This was where James got to witness first hand the type of thing that happens to me when I am out somewhere. I was wearing my “Run and Eat Cupcakes” shirt from last year’s cupcake virtual 5k because I was intending to go biking when we got back home. Apparently wearing that shirt in public means getting stopped by a random stranger to talk about it. I’m starting to notice a pattern when I wear race shirts in public. I can’t consistently blend in and not be noticed. Then again, it really doesn’t matter what I wear. I rarely get in and out of a store without another customer asking me something or just striking up a conversation. Also being an amazon woman, I am often asked to get stuff from top shelves. I complain, but I know it’s good for keeping my social anxiety from completely taking over me.

Grading. So, Jamie finally got her work done from week before last. :sigh: With all the shopping, and kids over, and playing with my new toy, I didn’t get any of Jamie’s work graded Saturday. By the time I slept in and did my bike ride yesterday, I had just enough time before church to do laundry and clean myself. Yes, I had to do laundry before I could shower because Connor was still over, and so wearing a bra was a necessity. But then after I got the clothes in the washer, everybody was gone. Chad went to the mall with Alex, James went to Lee & Rachel’s, and Jamie and Connor left and went to his house leaving me alone in the glorious silence again. I sat and basked in that a while, and also farted around on Facebook and Twitter. So it was after church before I looked at Jamie’s stuff, and decided to put off the grading, and just make out a new schedule. Immediately, I realized that grading was necessary because she has a test today and tomorrow. So I had to grade English and Algebra II. I could have graded Physical Science also, but I put that off because I was so tired and hurting and Sushi kept jumping up on the desk and laying on the answer key and I still had to put my laundry away because it was on the bed. So, yeah, I skipped the science, put away the laundry and went to bed.

This entry is filed under Adventures in Homeschooling, Biking, Exercise, Humor, Life, Maniacal Monday, Photos, Ramble, Running, Video. | 6 Comments

Funday Friday #23

By DragonLady on November 15, 2013

I had a small breakthrough this week. I found one of my pairs of arch supports, and started wearing them Wednesday. I had no lower back pain yesterday after I put my shoes on, and have had none at all today. Now maybe I will be motivated to go find the other pair or 2 I own. Along with that one pair of boots I can’t seem to find.

Speaking of Wednesday. The hubster went to court again Wednesday morning, and has yet another continuance. :sigh: But, this time his lawyer was not feeling well, and James said he looked really bad up close, so probably a good thing. But there was a good photo op in the parking lot. James spotted it, and we both found it funny.

Yes, it is juvenile. Whatevs. 😉

I’m about to make some dietary changes…again. Breakfast will not be the same. On the other hand, I should really pick up the phone and make an appointment with Dr Garlick to get some testing done.

For your daily TMI, you get another little work story. I came back from the bathroom this morning and said to the other female in the office, “That was round one. Consider that a warning.” A few minutes later, she gets up, and then comes back and says, “Martha!” To which I responded, “What? I warned you.” Apparently she didn’t wait long enough. And she knew I had chili last night. lol

Evie won’t bite anybody or anything. Except Jamie.

I think instead of running a 5k in the morning, I will run “the loop” which is 3.4 miles. Because I haven’t run it in a while. And I need to get in some hills before next weekend’s 5k.

I need a haircut.

KitKat has stopped sleeping on the ledge and falling off. She is napping in my office again. Amber acts like she thinks KitKat is a male and seems to be trying to seduce her. SMH. Tiger might have hit it the other day. :-/ But last night Tiger just smelled her and then ran off. KitKat is the only one that’s been fixed. The rest of them need fixing. I will gladly let someone pay for that. 😉

I guess this is all I got. The following was in the recommended videos when I got the link for Jamie and Evie, and I found it hilarious. 🙂

This entry is filed under Diet, Exercise, Funday Friday, Humor, Life, Photos, Ramble, Running, Video. | 2 Comments

Maniacal Monday #21

By DragonLady on October 28, 2013

Know how to start a Monday off right? Oversleep. Slept right through the alarm (or hit snooze in my sleep), and was awakened by the dogs barking 15 min after I should have been at work. Fun times.

I finally finished the VIRTUAL RIDE for breast cancer hosted by Run with Jess this weekend. 31 miles of during October, and a lot of butt pain. lol I did manage to take a picture while I was riding during my second ride (the 12.5 mile one):

Less than 4 miles into and I was already in pain. And I’m pretty sure I was even rolling downhill when I snapped it. 😉 I rode 11 miles on Saturday, and that was all I could do. That left me 4.1 miles to finish yesterday, and as soon as I sat down on that seat I knew that was going to be a long 4.1 miles with a sore butt. But, after about a mile, my butt didn’t hurt so bad. Probably because my legs started to hurt worse. haha After it was over, I had the hubby snap a shot of me on my bike with the medal, because who doesn’t love bling?

Now I have to start running again since I have a 5k coming up next month and a 12k in December.

I had to ask a question of Jamie this weekend. “Do you want to graduate on time, or do you want to do summer school or another year of school?” She’s 2 weeks behind, Chad is 4 weeks behind. Craziness. I’ve cut off internet for both. James said yesterday that they needed gas for their mopeds, and I told him I had been deliberately not getting more gas for them for the same reason they have no internet. And since he isn’t making them do their work which is the whole reason he isn’t working at a real job that actually pays, I have a fun-filled pending talk to have with him.

Anywho, Amber tore up my hand yesterday while we played. I didn’t realize the damage until I put on lotion and it burned us. I was very amused at KitKat’s ungraceful falling off of things she was sleeping on over the weekend.

This entry is filed under Adventures in Homeschooling, Biking, Exercise, Humor, Life, LinkWhoring, Maniacal Monday, Photos, Video. | 4 Comments

“You got big dreams?”

By DragonLady on October 15, 2013

I’ll start off actually blogging according to my weekly topic schedule. That said, I think I am just going to go back to the whole writing about what I feel like writing about whenever. Or not writing when I can’t come up with anything. Anywho…

I really got sick of running. Though, I don’t think I got so much sick of running and I find myself not near as motivated to run without Karyn or Molly “forcing” me out for a run. That’s not to say that I have stopped running. It’s just an explanation as to why I haven’t run in about 4 weeks. It has emotionally taken a toll on me too. I guess I really didn’t understand just how much better I feel after a run. I say that as I remember Dr. Garlick telling me to keep running in order to burn off that fight or flight reaction my body is trying to do over the life stress. I can’t change what is going on around me, and while I am learning (or unlearning/relearning) how to deal/respond to things out of my control, I need an outlet. An outlet that doesn’t involve me having a pity party playing the victim to have people feel sorry for me as this post is starting to turn. 😉

So that’s why I bought a new bicycle. Unlike running, I have always loved cycling. I signed up for Jess’ October virtual race VIRTUAL RIDE for breast cancer which is a 50k ride. I haven’t really done any “serious” cycling since I was in my late teens, though not a lot of that was really serious. See, when I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, I received a permanent grounding from riding bikes because I wrecked one too many times trying to pop wheelies. My dad was a bit overprotective when it came to me getting hurt. Of course, it only managed to keep me off of my bike as I had plenty of cousins who would let me ride theirs. But when I was 18, even though I was still in high school and still living under my parents’ roof, a lot of rules expired. I got my ears pierced and I bought a Huffy 10-speed from Walmart. For the rest of my senior year, I rode that bike to school. Uphill both ways. 😉 It took several weeks before I was able to ride up that hill on St Vincent Street from Harding Street to the house. 5 blocks of hill. Only 2 blocks of hill from our house toward school, and that side of the hill took a week to conquer.

But then I started biking all over town. Deadria went with me once and swore never to ride with me again. LOL! But her younger brother Leroy would, and so would my cousin Steve from down the street. Except Steve couldn’t ride all over town, I don’t think. Or didn’t want to. That was over 25 years ago. Anyway, I also rode quite a bit around Conway for a while in college. Gradually, I stopped riding and instead drove everywhere because after that first year of college, I took summer classes AND worked part time. There was just no time for biking. There isn’t much time now, but I want to make time. Because I love it. And eventually my butt won’t hurt from the seat when I ride. 😉

Now on to a slight subject change. I got a couple of emails yesterday from the worship leader one adding me to the planning site, and the other adding me to the worship schedule…for this Sunday. I might have panicked a little because I thought, “What if it’s songs I don’t know?” Looked at the 5 songs, and the panic was a little justified. Recognized 1 title and that is a song that I know is new. 5 songs that I don’t know, and I am scheduled both for guitar and vocals. But I downloaded the chord charts and lyrics and actually listened to the songs, and 3 of the songs were familiar. One of the 3 was very familiar. I relaxed some, but not entirely. Last night I actually sat down with my guitar to play along, and calmed down a lot. They aren’t hard to play overall. I only really have to concentrate hard on memorizing the chords. I don’t expect to be singing lead on any of them, and the harmony vocals don’t seem hard to learn. Also, I won’t be the only female vocalist. I’m still nervous, and it really is kind of silly since I will be up there with a complete band, and there were a few times at New Life Praise where I had to lead completely solo, just me and my guitar. I think maybe that is why I’m nervous. Anyway, I think I will be ready for rehearsal Thursday night.

And for all the friends who encouraged me to audition…

Yes, I have watched that movie way too many times. I was a hard core fan of the cartoon when I was little. Don’t judge me. 😉

This entry is filed under Biking, Exercise, Life, Training Tuesday, Video. | 22 Comments

Monday Morning

By DragonLady on October 14, 2013

Rough and stressful week leads to waking up Saturday morning with a migraine. Oh, fun times. And I ended up driving to Cary twice. Yes, twice. With that migraine. Why you may ask? Or maybe you don’t, but I will tell you anyway. lol I preordered Pokemon X and Y for the kids way back in the summer, and they were released Saturday. :sigh: Then Jamie had a birthday party invite for Saturday night and insisted on going to Hot Topic to get her friend a present. I let James have the honor of taking her to the party. 😉

I rode 12.5 miles on my new bike yesterday. Oh, my. One of my co-workers was laughing over my John Wayne walk down the hall earlier to get coffee. There is a lot of pain today. I rode to the point of exhaustion, and one does not simply walk down stairs after a long ride until one recovers a little bit.

Jamie burned eggs again this morning. When I walked out of my bedroom, I smelled something that smelled like toast. I assumed it was Chad, but when I walked into the kitchen, I saw the pan of eggs. One exploded before I could get to the stove and turn off the fire. I was so mad. I went to her room and banged on it yelling at her to get in the kitchen. Well, Chad pops out and immediately sat down at his desk and started working on homework. I said, “That wasn’t for you. That was for Jamie.” Back I go and ripped into her. Later, after I left and cooled off, I sent her a text apologizing for yelling.

KitKat decided to puke in my room yesterday morning. While I was eating. Evie and Gizmo decided they both needed to chase Tiger and Sushi/Mako yesterday all over the house. It was funny for a while, but then it got old. I laughed at Evie because she just can’t move very quickly. But she gave it what she had.

I got a text from one of my cousins yesterday evening asking me if I joined the Air Force before I graduated from UCA. I found it to be kind of an odd question out of the blue (blue – Air Force – see what I did there? No? lol), but I have been known to text her an odd question out of the blue too. Anyway, I, of course, answered sarcastically with “Are you thinking of joining?” But then I actually answered that I joined right after graduating.

Oh, my goodness I laughed so hard. I’m still laughing over it. :rofl2:

I got caught up grading and recording Jamie’s school work Saturday. Chad is still way behind, and we didn’t get to his Algebra this weekend either. I had to change the wifi password AGAIN because Chad managed to get it. I know how, but he won’t own up to it. Or, well, let me just say that one of the kids is lying about how he got it. Anyway, until I sit down on his desktop long enough to get the mac address and specifically block him, I just have to keep my desktop locked. So, I have tweaked scheduling a little bit to have a little better handle on what they are supposed to be doing.

That hair: