Didn’t see that coming…

I don’t even know where to start. Suffice it to say, I am not aging gracefully. I didn’t really handle it so well when my hair starting graying. It took burning my scalp with dye (the same dye I had been using for a year) before I decided I was ok with going gray. Ok, that’s partially a lie. I am NOT ok with going gray. I just find it preferable to a blistered scalp. And, yes, I can look in the mirror right now and know that soon I will be waking up to being VERY noticeably gray as opposed to having to be close to my head to see it. But anyway…


I remember several years ago sitting at home watching Home Improvement with my mom. I don’t think she normally watched it with me, but she was there with me when I saw the episode where Jill had to have a hysterectomy. Jill didn’t handle it well at all, and I remember my mom turning to me and saying, “I had NO problem with mine.” I am pretty sure I said something to the effect that I would be ok without my uterus, too, because I hate having periods. I never looked forward to periods, still hate them, and still look forward to not having them. I have been ready for a hysterectomy since my youngest was a year old. But, alas, they don’t do hysterectomies if there is nothing wrong with you. Ok, I could probably find a doctor that would do it, but that’s the kind of doctor who would also give me the painkillers that I want despite the fact I don’t need them.

Since the hubster and I were DONE with having kids after our youngest was born, and I had all kinds of issues remembering to take the pill, he opted for a vascectomy…which I got to watch. lol Before he got started, the surgeon asked us both one last time if we were absolutely sure we didn’t want any more kids because his work is NOT reversible. We both assured him we were through, and, yeah, I saw what he cut out, and I saw the cauterizing of the ends. That isn’t growing back short of supernatural intervention. Hmm, maybe I should have added a “MALE STUFF” alert too? So 3-4 years ago, I started having hot flashes. Excited I was at what I saw as the beginning of the end of periods. Of course, in the last 3 years, my cycles have gotten more frequent, and I have had PMS though I NEVER had ANY PMS symptoms before. My moods swing like I’m bi-polar, and word has it, it is going to get worse and could last another 10 years or more. Remember how I said my cycles are more frequent? They last longer too. :mad:

So, needless to say, I was totally unprepared for wanting to have another baby. :eek: I had been able to say “That ship has sailed,” and was quite ok with it. But out of the blue yesterday, all I could see was babies. EVERYWHERE. Friends with babies, friends pregnant, friends with grandbabies (and no, I am not ready for grandbabies when I still have teenagers). I totally didn’t see this coming…

So what’s the problem? We could adopt, right? Well, yes. However, hubby doesn’t want another kid, and I will NOT try to convince him otherwise. So I have to be still, and trust that God will grant me contentment in this area one way or another. He could heal the little tubes. He could change the hubby’s heart to want another one too and provide a child to adopt. Or He could have me just wait until the kids are grown and married (hopefully in that order), and give me a bunch of grandbabies.

Or I could just be happy that I have something to blog about. :rofl2:

9 Responses to 'Didn’t see that coming…'

  1. MacBros says:

    Well. That was a roller coaster ride!

    First i thought there was a serious issue with you having to get an operation, then it started to look like you might be having a baby. Only to find out that you’re having Mommy issues and just needed something to blog about.


    Good one! :bow:

    • DragonLady says:

      Menopause = roller coaster. :rofl2:

      • mel says:

        so wait just a dang minute there, DL. Is that what you were trying to say? That you’re going through menopause??? You’re too young for that. Did a doctor tell you that?
        As for wanting a kid, it’s a temporary insanity kind of thing. Just wait, the grandbabies will be there soon enough and you’ll be surprised when you realize the kind of love you have for them is exactly the same as for your kids. Then it will drive you nuts that you can’t raise them.

        • DragonLady says:

          Yes, that is part of what I am trying to say. LOL The doc mentioned it over a year ago during my last physical. That was before my periods started to get all erratic like they were the first couple of years I had them. Then there is the acne breakouts. They are mild, but worse than when I was a teen. Oh, and the mood swings. I cried half the way into work this morning over nothing. That happens more often than not. Now it could be something else, but I’m leaning towards hormonal changes. I’m not that young… ;)

    • mel says:

      John! LOL. I hate to say it but that was my thought process as well.

  2. Petra says:

    Ah, hormones! Gotta love it!!! As I sit her unable to focus on anything because I’m so freaking nauseous and have zero energy… maybe that’ll help??? :) You can come over and hold this baby whenever you want after it’s born. Especially if you need a baby fix in the middle of the night. :D

    • DragonLady says:

      LOL! Brittany B is under induction right now, so I should get a baby fix within the next 24 hours. :) Plus, I think Jamie and I have nursery Sunday, and that may take care of wanting another baby. LOL

  3. Petra says:

    Also, I think yesterday was a full moon, so maybe that has something to do with it? :)