The following articles were authored by DragonLady

Humpday randomness

1. Why don’t I find any raw meats as disgusting to touch as raw chicken? Granted, I cooked 6 chicken breasts the other day, and had to physically touch 6 pieces of raw chicken, and it wasn’t as gross as if it still had the skin, but still.

2. I have developed a love of cooking which I still hate it. It’s a lot like running. I like it once I start doing it, but getting started…

3. Speaking of running, I always hated running when I was growing up and especially when I was in the military. How on earth did I start liking it once I got in my 40′s?

4. Whole Foods Market. I made my first trip there last week because it was the only place I could find chia seeds. Oh my. I normally go to Chatham Marketplace which my son calls “the organic store.” They sell grains, beans, nuts, etc in bulk, and that’s where I’ve gotten my quinoa & amaranth. WH bulk section is at least 3 times the size of CM. I was almost overwhelmed.

5. Eating healthy. I knew this challenge was going to hurt. I had a headache for 5 days straight, and my legs ached for another 3 days after that. I broke out twice. And just as my body seems to be chilling out, the cravings have started up again. *sigh*

6. Now that the hubby is working, and we work opposite shifts, there really isn’t enough hours in the day.

7. Needs the heater core fixed/replaced in the Neon. Who wants to volunteer to pay for that?

8. Cheese. Why must I have to pay physically for consuming your yumminess?

My little artist

Not that she is little anymore.

I asked Jamie to draw me a purple dragon. Because I finally found a theme I am happy with and can customize to my liking…enough. She brought me the sketch tonight, and will be coloring it in next weekend when I give her laptop back.

I can’t wait until she finishes it.

Lessons learned

Lest this become a cooking blog, I will write about something besides food. And I have noticed I have used “lest” a lot lately. Weird. And there will be a certain vagueness to this…specifics withheld to protect the guilty. ;)

Anyway, the lessons are related to a common thing – bitterness and unforgiveness. They go hand in hand with me which is why I referred to them in the singular. And I have been struggling with them, or rather struggling with letting go of them. The unforgiveness feeds the bitterness, and I know they are eating me alive. I know people say “Just let it go,” but it isn’t really just that easy. There is real hurt to contend with. There are unmet expectations to contend with. There is a sense of entitlement to contend with.

I stood in “the confessional” one night (that’s what I named my shower) and was wrestling with the “How much is enough” question. I wasn’t really asking myself, because I knew I had LONG passed the threshold of enough. I got answered, and it wasn’t an answer I wanted to hear. But I could not argue. I had an example that I could not deny nor ignore. No matter if the one prevailing issue never goes away, I can’t give up.

But I had no idea how I was going to cope. The future looked bleak and hopeless. There was no way I could make it. I was going to fail and fail miserably. How can I do it? I can’t let go when it’s constantly thrown in my face. Can I?

Then something happened, and it clicked. It wasn’t something you would expect to be an attitude-changing moment, but yet it was. It happened Sunday, but finally fully sank in today.

Cherish the times that are really, really good-the ones that feel like the “fairy tale”-instead of only focusing on the bad times when your expectations aren’t being met.

In the past few days there have been many “fairy tale” moments. Yeah, they may be just little things, but they still warm the heart. Like sitting in Burger King wanting to wallow in self-pity, but you can’t because your son is talking your ear off and you can’t help but smile. Or you’re sitting in McDonald’s with a splitting headache and your daughter keeps putting her “chicken” nuggets in your face. But mainly when you are sitting there broken, hoping no one else can see that you are trying not to fall apart and your husband reaches over and holds your hand…when he doesn’t ever do that. Dwell on that. Cherish that.

Cleaning out the fridge

I had some leftover veggies that were quickly approaching use or lose. In fact, there were some losses. But I was determined that before I lost the whole lot I would do something with them. So I went through the fridge last night, picked out the bad, kept the good, and this is what I ended up with:

3 or 4 green onions, a few chives, 5 leftover slices of russet potato, 1 zucchini, 2 yellow squash, 2 parsnips, 1 avocado, and 2 apples. I pulled out 3 carrots from the bag, the last lime, 1 of the 3 lemons, and a sweet potato also. But what on earth was I going to do with all this? As an aside, before I continue, I want to note that those are the 2 crappy apples that my daughter did NOT get when she ate my really really good Gala apples. Not that the Galas would have gone into this dish.

I opted for roasting them since I had some practice last week roasting veggies, and turned the oven on at 350 to heat up. I threw in a second sweet potato and started peeling and slicing. After the carrots, parsnips, russet slices, and sweet potatoes, it became quite clear that my bowl was not big enough to fit the squash in.

I transferred to the larger bowl and added the squash, avocado, and apples.

This is the point I thought I would be tossing them with olive oil, but the big bowl was too full and that’s the biggest bowl I have. So instead of tossing them, I put parchment down in the big baking dish (because I learned that parchment not only keeps the food from sticking, but makes for waaay easier cleanup) and drizzled them with olive oil. I semi-randomly picked spices to add based on a general taste I was hoping for.

The salt & pepper weren’t random, but I picked white pepper because I just don’t really like the taste of black pepper. Never have. I know, I’m weird. My parent’s peppered EVERYTHING. It sucked. But anyway… I put thyme in something last week that was ok, I love ginger (and would have put fresh ginger in but that had to be thrown out), and I thought the nutmeg would go really well with the sweet potatoes. The cilantro, well, it’s cilantro. It’s a must. Ready for the oven in 15 minute increments it was:

In the meantime, I went to work on the chives & green onions, and threw in 4 cloves of garlic.

Every 15 min, I would take the veggies out and stir them up. This was probably the 30 minute mark.

After an hour and 15 min, half the carrots and parsnips were still on the crunchy side. (Yes, there was a lesson learned.) I then put on a honey badger attitude, and squeezed the lime and lemon over it and put it back in for 10 more minutes.

I should have tasted it BEFORE I added the lime & lemon juice. Another lesson learned. I don’t know if it was just one of them that was a mistake or both, but I didn’t care for the flavor. It’s not so bad I couldn’t eat it, and even the hubster liked it ok. He didn’t love it, but it was good enough he could eat it, but not so good he would eat too much. Sadly, that makes perfect sense.

Lessons learned. 1) I am terrible at determining how much “prepared” I will have after peeling and slicing when looking at the raw material. 2) I take forever to prep. 3) I suck at picking out good (read firm) avocado. 4) Ok, this one I already knew, but carrots & parsnips will take longer to cook than the rest of that stuff. 5) Taste at every point when experimenting.

And yes, I know apples are not veggies, but I had to get rid of them.

Surprise visits

This post is brought to you today because of a Facebook message thread (note: not a public thread) where there was a discussion of someone’s house not being “company ready.” I said “Whatever” followed by “Did I ever tell you about the first 2 visits we got from NLPC?” NLPC = New Life Praise Church = where we go. Anyway, she said, “no, you’ll have to give me those stories! ha!” Now with this in mind, there was some discussion a few days prior about “being real” and “masks” and, well, this is kind of me putting my “ugly” out there.


You can click on the image for the larger size if you just have to go looking for cobwebs. ;)

So this was made Christmas ’07. I think. It’s main purpose is to show the old sectional…for scale. Note that right there in the middle of the floor is a big mess. I decorated for Christmas, but never bothered to put the containers away turning them into a “catch-all” spot. Also notice the dog. That’s Buster as a puppy. His middle name is Deuce because he was always dropping one behind furniture. He is also a big outside dog now. Anyway, a couple of weeks after that Christmas we started attending NLPC.

I’m not sure how long we had been going before we got the visit. One Tuesday night, the dogs started barking, and we heard car doors (plural) outside. One of the Tuesday night visitation teams made a trip to visit us. I know it was Charlie and Sylvia, but I can’t remember who (if anyone) was with them. What I do remember is the sectional was so covered with stuff (laundry, junk, whatever) that you couldn’t sit on it. Oh, and the Christmas stuff was still sitting there in the middle of the room. I was mortified. I am sure everything in the kitchen was dirty and covering all the counters, and, well, my house was a pig stye. And I swore that it would not ever get that bad again just in case we ever got another unannounced visit.

So a few weeks later, dogs bark, car doors slam, and we have visitors again. This time it was Gerald & Bonnie, and Sylvia. Yes, same Sylvia, and guess what? The house was in just as bad a shape as it was before, except that I had put away the Christmas decorations by that time. That was it. They had seen the real us. I don’t think anyone from church has ever been by that the house wasn’t a wreck. It’s not that we don’t both want a clean house, nor do we not know how to keep a clean house. It’s just overwhelming, and it’s easier to let it go.

As an aside, we no longer have the sectional, and we no longer pile laundry up in the living room. We keep those piles in our bedrooms now. LOL

A cookin’ fool

The DragonLady is at it again. Hopefully for the last time for a few days. That said, I still have a few veggies in the fridge that will need to be cooked or frozen. Actually, I made 2 dishes Monday night, and 2 last night. I called myself done, but there is still some veggies in the fridge that need something done with them. I really hope they will make it until Saturday ’cause I’m tired.

Monday night I made Zesty Lime Shrimp and Avocado Salad and Vegetable Tian. First a confession. I’ve never had any dealings with avocado beyond guacamole (already prepared) and sushi (again, already prepared). So as I started peeling the avocado, I was hit with unexpected sliminess. I had to quickly message the avocado “expert”, Karyn with the question, “Is avocado supposed to be slimy?” She has never had a slimy one, so I tossed that one, and the second one wasn’t quite so bad, but it was still on the soft side. I’m thinking they were just overripe?

Slimy avocado or not, the Zesty Lime Shrimp and Avocado Salad turned out alright:

It’s quite oniony. It would seem as though I saturated myself with onion as that is all I could taste yesterday.

In the meantime, I figured it would probably be a good thing to feed the kids since I bought some chuck steaks just for that purpose. And to be honest, I needed a “main” to go with the Vegetable Tian, which was pretty good, but I couldn’t get it to ring around a squared off dish. So it didn’t look as pretty as the photos in the recipe. Not that I took a photo of the finished dish, just an overflashed bad photo of the serving on my plate.

The taste made up for the presentation, though I sliced a few of the potatoes a bit thick and those didn’t get quite as done as I would like.

Tuesday is run day, so no cooking. Not that there was any running either because 1) I overslept and didn’t have time to pack my gym bag, and 2) I ran over something on the way home that got stuck in one of my tires necessitating me changing the tire. That cost me 45 min, so I would have missed the run anyway.

Last night, though, I went back into the kitchen like a mad woman. Mad because it was day 4 of a headache (which I still have, but I think today’s is weather and not food withdrawl), and I’m ready for the detox to be over and to start feeling great like this healthy, chemical-free diet is supposed to produce. So I started in first on the Quinoa Cakes. I eat quinoa and amaranth for breakfast with bananas, blueberries, and cranberries. I love quinoa, and it’s all kinds of protein & nutrient rich.

Makes a sticky mess of a “batter”:

Made the patties by scooping it out with a 1/4 cup measuring cup per hint in the recipe.

The first batch was iffy because the skillet wasn’t quite hot enough. Nothing sticks to that pan unless you drop something in oil that isn’t all the way hot. FYI…

The second and third batches turned out fine with no sticking, and this stuff is the BOMB!!! I know I said that about the taco salad too. But this is all fried. I love fried.

So finally, I was ready to finish off the last of the recipes I had picked and printed out. Roasted Eggplant Salad with Smoked Almonds and Goat Cheese. Ok, I didn’t have any smoked almonds, nor the desire to turn the almonds I had into smoked almonds, so I used raw almond slivers…because I have way more than I needed for the one recipe that called for almond slivers. I also did not have fresh parsley. I don’t think either of those would have made any difference. However, there wasn’t anything in the ingredients list I didn’t like, and the picture looked appetizing so, I went for it.

Pre-roast:

Post-roast:

Final product:

Not so great. Not bad, and I’ll be able to eat it, but I won’t be making it again. It’s not that good.

Challenged

Petra sent me a message the other day with a link followed by “Click on ‘the 6 week challenge’.” I groaned like I had just taken a kidney punch because I just knew whatever was in that 6 week challenge was going to hurt in some way. Our Family Eats. I am doing weeks 1-3 together, or cold turkey, as it were. I had quite the headache yesterday, and was sure a Coke would have taken care of it blaming it on MSG withdrawl. But, I took 800 mg ibuprofen and drank a cup of hot tea, and it lessened considerably so perhaps it was just sinus. But back to the topic.

Around the same time as she sent the link, I got sucked into Pinterest. I had managed to avoid it for quite some time, and was quite proud of myself, but, alas, to no avail. I found some interesting recipes on it, and spent half of Sunday cooking. The first thing I tried was Fall-Vegetable and Quinoa Hash with Poached Eggs…minus the poached eggs because DragonLady only eats eggs fried, scrambled, or deviled…and Quinoa Salad with Toasted Almonds making the endeavor an added challenge by cooking from 2 recipes at the same time.

The finished Fall Vegetable and Quinoa Hash:

I want to state for the record, that those were some dinky servings, and is clearly a side with or without a poached egg on top.

The finished Quinoa Salad with Toasted Almonds (still in the pan):

That made more than I was expecting, which was a good thing.

So after church, I remembered that I still hadn’t done laundry, and absolutely had to, so I figured since I was going to be up late washing clothes, I might as well cook up a couple more things. Oh, yeah, because I am cooking ahead so I have food prepared and ready to heat throughout the week that is artificial color, flavor, preservative, and “-ate” free.

Anyway, Karyn had given me a link to Taco Salad, and I was itching to try it. I managed to get absolutely no pictures of it because I apparently cannot do 2 recipes at the same time while I am about half brain-dead. It turned out great though, and I have lunch set for all this week.

Then I started on Wild Rice Salad with Roasted Vegetables and Lemon-Tahini Dressing.

I did take a couple final photos with the whole thing mixed up, but I can’t hold a camera steady after midnight. As I was mixing the dressing together I thought, “This has the potential to taste like crap.” But it actually turned out quite nice, after I added that last half a lemon of juice to it.

So to sum up, hell has frozen over, and I am eating healthy, and as organic as I can. After dropping a load of cash on all those veggies, the hubby said, “You definitely need a garden if you are going to be eating like this.” So I guess I need to get started on that…

“Preacher’s kid”

I actually did a small (and lazy) bit of research for this one. And interestingly, what I found on Wikipedia (remember, I said “lazy”), was surprisingly confirming of the correlation I was going to make. But anyway, “preacher’s kids” have always had a bit of a stereotypical reputation. Generally speaking, at least around where I grew up, it was always negative whether the kid was the rebel or the goody-two-shoes. (See what I did there?)

So, anyway, as the link with the creepy painting states, “The existence of these stereotypes is a source of pressure on children of clergy.” The reason being that there are Biblical standards that pastors/elders must uphold in their personal life, and, by familial association, their family as well. As it happens, the standards for a deacon are almost as strict as those of a pastor.

Guess who’s a deacon’s kid…

Guess which stereotype I modeled…

What I run to

Why? Because it is a post, and this list totally dates me. Yes, I sing many of these at my daughter when she runs with me. :)

Freak Like Me – Sugababes
Round Round – Sugababes
Walking on Sunshine – Katrina & the Waves
Welcome To The Jungle – Guns N’ Roses
Paradise City – Guns N’ Roses
Sweet Child O’ Mine – Guns N’ Roses
Back In Black – AC/DC
You Shook Me All Night Long – AC/DC
The Power Of Love – Huey Lewis & The News
Song 2 – Blur
Layla – Derek & The Dominos
China Grove – The Doobie Brothers
Long Train Runnin’ – The Doobie Brothers
Listen To The Music – The Doobie Brothers
Humans Being – Van Halen (Van Hagar)
Love Is a Battlefield – Pat Benatar
Invincible – Pat Benatar
Authority Song – John Mellencamp
Dancing in the Dark – Bruce Springsteen
Glory Days – Bruce Springsteen
The Boys of Summer – Don Henley
Mr. Roboto – Styx
Monkey Wrench – Foo Fighters
Love Shack – The B-52′s
Long Distance Winner – Stevie Nicks
Gold – Stevie Nicks
Light of day – Joan Jett
Go Insane – Lindsey Buckingham
Refugee – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Runnin’ Down a Dream – Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers
Let’s Go Crazy – Prince
1999 – Prince

Coming out of the dark

If it’s stuck in my head, you get it, too.

Yes, I’m a fan. Or was a fan. Whatever. She can actually sing as opposed to, oh, say, Britney Spears? Haha Regardless, it is totally relevant.

I think I finally bottomed out. I reached a point yesterday morning that I knew I was done…or undone. I sat in traffic with tears streaming, and sent a one word status update to Facebook.

“can’t”

I knew who would see it and know what it meant, and that they would pray…because I couldn’t. I was spent. All my fight was gone. And then I sat at work all morning feeling as though I was going to implode…physically. I had an appointment that afternoon that was going to be ultra super rough in a dark pit because it’s one that every time I have had one it has been utterly draining.

But something happened around the time of the appointment. I didn’t notice it until much later in the afternoon, but when I did it was like, wow. Huh. How about that…

My husband called me right before lunch, and had a totally different tone from what he had that morning. My appointment lasted about half the time estimated, and was the best one ever. And about an hour and a half later, after I had done some research with a co-worker, it hit me. My head felt kind of clear. As I drove home, it was almost surreal at what songs were popping up on shuffle on my iPod. That those particular songs “randomly” played back-to-back could not possibly have been random. Wow. It was like I drank a Coke, only I didn’t have any soda of any kind. But I was cautious. I could wake up with the fog and darkness back.

But it wasn’t there this morning. In fact, once I took a shower and got kind of awake, I could tell there was no fog. I felt normal again for the first time in what seems like forever. Oh, I didn’t, and still don’t, feel all giggly happy (like I got when I drank those glasses of Coke). But there is a distinct peace that’s back. And I learned something other than sometimes I have to learn the same painful lesson over and over.

I have way more pride than I thought.

There were a bunch of individual things I learned about myself, but they all boil down to pride.

James 5:16 (ESV) 16 Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working.

I had to swallow some of that pride, and admit that I was weak, and that I was having a hard time with some specific problems (circumstances and sins) that I couldn’t/wouldn’t let go of in addition to the depression. Or that caused it. I had to let go of a general distrust of people that I have hung on to like Linus holds onto that blanket for years. Maybe that was the part of the lesson. Regardless, I have no doubt that the prayers of those dear friends carried more weight than mine did. There were a few, but Petra and Molly bore the brunt. Thank you for standing in the gap for me. :hugs: