1. How to know you are tired: Friday night I went to bed, and I remember lying down. The hubby was reading, and the next thing I knew, the alarm was going off. Not only do I not remember him turning the light off, I don’t remember him getting up and leaving around 4am-ish.
2. We saw The Avengers Saturday. Nearly everyone I know who had seen it already raved about it. I liked it a lot, but I don’t know that I could really rave about how good it was. I do recommend it, however. It was worth the admission price, and even worth having to sit right beside a total stranger. Yes, I was thinking, “With all the open seats in here, you have to sit right beside me?” I have issues. Anyway, my favorite line was “Clench it up, Legolas!” I was the only one of us who caught the Legolas reference. It probably wouldn’t have been quite so funny for me if I hadn’t been thinking the whole time that Loki looked like Grima Wormtongue. Second favorite line was from the Hulk. “Puny god.”
3. Introduced the hubby to Angelina’s Kitchen Saturday. He loved the Greek salad & falafel.
4. Attempted and failed to replace the deck belt on the mower. Though I guess I could technically consider removing the old one a success, but really, I just cut it and pulled it out. I guess it might have been easier if I had taken the deck off, but that was going to prove to be entirely too much effort. However, it may turn out to be unavoidable.
5. Ran again Saturday. I’ve been working on different form – trying to incorporate what my first TI tried to teach me, and lean forward. I seem to be able to run a little bit (just a little bit) faster, and a little bit farther. I could tell I was using different muscles and dealt with my left calf cramping Sunday & my right shin twinging today. I think both have calmed down enough to run this evening. I still have a love/hate relationship with running. I have to make myself do it, I hate it the whole time I am running, but I feel fantastic after…once I can breathe and am not puking… And maybe, just maybe, I will get built up enough to be able to run farther than a mile. lol
6. I feel so blessed to know 4 missionary couples, plus a young woman who fresh out of high school left for the mission field with one of those 4 couples. I could write a whole post on that, but not at work because I would end up crying. But I can’t tell you how hard it was to get up after hearing my friend Karyn speak about her call to the mission field and try to sing this:
I may or may not have almost broke down…multiple times…
1. I am bipolar today. I woke up ready to kill the white cat. I’m not sure she will survive until I can get her spayed. But then as I was taking stuff out to the van, it was just so nice and peaceful out that I got instant good mood. But then I got to work. *sigh*
2. Remember when I said “Be real”? Yeah, I had to eat my words and be real this week. It really isn’t fun even when you know the response will be in love…and it was.
3. Had my 2nd follow up with the ENT this week, after totally forgetting about and missing the original appointment last week. Everything looks good and I don’t have to go back for 6 months.
4. Speaking of the ENT appointment, I figured since my lunch was heavy on onion & garlic and the doc would be up close & personal to my face, it would be kind to brush my teeth before I went. That’s one of the reasons I keep a toothbrush & toothpaste in my desk at work. That and in case I forget before I leave home. Yes, that has happened and is also why I have deodorant in my desk. Anyway, I haven’t used Colgate since like January? I’ve been using Tom’s flouride free which took some getting used to, and now I know why. The Colgate was like brushing my teeth with sugar. Seriously. I’m not a big fan of Tom’s either and may just go straight baking soda & peroxide when it’s empty.
5. I caved to a temptation a few weeks ago and bought a soda. It was not good, and so I didn’t drink it even though I used to love it.
6. I ran at lunch today and now I hurt.
7. Needs/Wants the time & motivation to fix my sewing machine and then the time & motivation to actually sew. I’m also thinking about trying (again) to learn how to crochet. Opal inspires me.
8. My mom turns 80 next month. 80. That’s old. She is the second oldest in her family now with one cousin older than her.
9. I keep wondering when/how/if I got glutened since the Andy’s incident over 3 weeks ago. Either I have been glutened since (despite being careful) or I have been paying for that one big time…and long time…
10. I need a vacation. A real vacation. It doesn’t have to be very long. Just a weekend would do the trick.
You know what sucks? Trying new recipes. I truly love moussaka. Could eat my weight in it. So when I found a recipe for it, I was all kinds of excited, and couldn’t wait to make it. My first indication it would be a mistake was when the recipe called for panko. After looking up what that is (it’s a flaky breadcrumb), I realized that it was going to be a problem finding a gluten-free version. Let me state for the record that crushed up rice chex is NOT a good substitute. Had no trouble getting it to stick to my fingers, but would not stick to the eggplant. Also, the total time for the recipe was 2 hours 40 minutes. I should have doubled that. As I told Petra when she asked why I was making that at 10pm, there is a reason I work in IT and not as a chef. The kicker? It wasn’t even good. After all that work, it just doesn’t taste that good, and not at all like any moussaka I’ve ever had. Epic fail. Yes, I am eating it anyway. I will say this though, the initial sauce (ground beef/lamb/bison, onion, garlic, oregano, crushed red pepper, red wine) smelled absolutely wonderful! I’m sure it was the garlic. I have developed an almost weird (or maybe full-on weird) craving for garlic. Anyway, will never attempt moussaka again. That was a waste of a Friday night.
Speaking of Friday night, I got a little something in my head Friday:
Petra got me & Molly with that on Facebook one morning. We probably deserved it, but still. Anyway, I popped it onto her Facebook wall Friday, and she kept refusing to watch it and claimed that she had it blocked from her head. Me being me, I saw her post that she was taking a nap, and proceeded to text “Pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows” to her so she would see that as soon as she woke up. She claimed that didn’t work either so I decided that if I had to go into Sanford for any reason, I was going by her house and singing it to her. Normally, I would be pissed that I had to go get milk, but not that night. I headed right over to her house, and she was not kidding about having 1,000 cats. I rang the doorbell, and got covered in kittens. And no one came to the door. So I’m thinking they are either out back or otherwise can’t hear the doorbell because the door was open. So I texted her again to let her know I was on her front porch, and by this time, one of the kittens was parked on my lap like that was where it belonged. Jamie couldn’t take it anymore and had joined me, and decided she was taking one of the black kittens. An uncomfortable amount of time had passed by this time, and I had decided that there was something going on that wasn’t going to be interrupted, and we left once I made Jamie put the cat back. Petra didn’t get my text until about an hour later, and begged me to come back and get a cat. LOL
I volunteered to help man one of the rest stations for the CARA Ride for their Lives race Saturday morning. Naturally I was all kinds of tired after being up late the night before with the epic fail moussaka. But, I had prepared, and had my directions and stuff all printed out, and on the directions I hand wrote “Don’t forget chair.” The chair was on the front porch right by the steps ready for me to pick up and throw in the van on my way out. Yeah, that was a fail too. I forgot my chair. Thankfully, the gentleman from Performance Cycles brought 2, so I didn’t have to stand like a dummy the whole time. I did a lot of standing, but there was no other way to get around it while making 2.5 loaves worth of pb&j. I was on the first shift which ended at 11, but the last riders came through before Alex & I left the parking lot. LOL Oh, well.
I went to a mother-daughter tea party at church that afternoon with my daughter who didn’t want to be there. I think she was less than impressed with my top hat. Haha She wouldn’t let me continue to wear it in the van after we left and headed to Target. Hahaha
Target. That was a fun trip. To sum it up, the cashier asked me as she was ringing me up if I found everything ok. My answer? “I have no idea. I don’t remember what we came to get.” But we got a honey badger t-shirt…
Not the actual t-shirt...because none of us wears a XXL...but that is what it looks like.
Oh, yeah, the tea party? It was decided that the women would wear their hats to church for Mother’s Day. Yes, I totally wore a top hat to church. It think it inspired me to really belt out Sing Sing Sing. Hahahaha! I did almost crack up singing it because I could see movement from the youth out of the corner of my eye, and was sure they were doing the hand motions.
And because we had the white trash yard again because everyone around us had mowed, I started mowing shortly after we got home from church – and after I put the belt back on the blade pulleys. It was cutting like crap too. Not like dull blade crap, but no power crap. The belt came off again about halfway, and got up underneath one of the pulleys that has a cover over it. I couldn’t get the belt back up onto the pulley (wondering the whole time how it came off), and finally had to go get tools and take the cover over. When I swung back around, I stopped the blades, and just put the mower in park (still running) while I put the tools back on the porch. The hubbster said, “Oh, that’s bad,” and I turned to see smoke coming out from under the mower. The pulley had seized up even though the blades were disengaged, and was burning up. So, I was done with the riding mower at that point. There just wasn’t enough time to run to Lowe’s to get a new belt before the rain hit. So I proceeded to push mow. Pushing wasn’t near as bad as it used to be, and I can only assume that is because I am running now? Anyway, it was taking FOREVER, and finally the hubbster came over and said he couldn’t sit and watch me push mowing on Mother’s Day. So he finished the yard, while I did laundry – half of which is still in the dryer.
1. Cats in heat are so gross. I just cannot stress that enough. All the bawling and rolling around and sticking her butt up in the air. Ugh! She is so getting spayed…
2. Finding a mouse nest is gross. Finding one with mummified baby mice is completely disgusting.
3. Maggots are gross too.
4. I got the master bathroom (mostly) cleaned up and turned over to the hubbster. Since he works nights and is in bed asleep during my awake time, that needs to be his area. He’ll get the bedroom too (that’s a major mess), but that isn’t a high priority. But when he saw I was cleaning the bathroom he said, “I was going to get around to that in a few months…” hahaha
5. I cleaned out and organized the kitchen pantry. I even threw stuff away. I’m really kind of amazed at the number of appliances we have. Yeah, that is mostly what’s in the pantry. Appliances, the big stock pot, dutch oven, & pressure cooker.
6. I had my first bison burger. I didn’t notice a huge difference between it and ground beef. Neither did the hubby. The daughter thought it was great.
7. I bought quail and cooked them. That may not ever happen again. It tastes fine, just looks a little creepy. I guess because they are so much smaller than the Cornish game hens.
8. Finally ordered a new bucket assembly for the carpet cleaner. *sigh* That’s all I have to say about that.
9. The filter in one of my vacuums is so bad, it won’t suck. The other vacuum smells like dog.
10. I really don’t have anything else for the list, but 10 just feels more complete than 9.
This has been one of those days. I’ve been up since 3:30am (this morning – hahaha) because I just could not go back to sleep. My nose & throat were both irritated, and in retrospect I maybe should have taken some more NyQuil (as I WILL do tonight). Now everything was going fine until I actually left the house. I got mad, I didn’t restrain my potty mouth, and I wanted to punch someone in the ear the majority of the morning. As I calmed down, I saw that I shouldn’t even have gotten mad to begin with.
Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut. Proverbs 10:19 NLT
We talked about that verse just last night in Bible study. It took me almost no time at all to blow it. sigh At least I took my own advice and confessed my fail to the other ladies from that Bible study. Progress.
So I was thinking on the way to work this morning about a question I answered last night (which is the title of this post) about spreading yourself too thin. My job is a 40 hour a week job, but with an hour lunch and 1.5 to 2 hour round trip commute. Now that the hubby is working a 40 hour week also, and on an opposite shift, I am back in the hotseat for cooking & cleaning. That’s on top of yardwork, and half the grocery shopping. Add in a couple of Bible studies during the week, and a couple of runs, and I find myself low on time. Plus, we have a bunch of half-done projects, plus a ton that need to be done. Oh, and I want a garden and some chickens, and with our land layout and a boggy yard, I’m looking at raised beds, and chickens need a coop. I have a BUNCH of stuff I need to clean out and throw away. Oh, yeah, and I still have to spend time with my husband and my kids, and pay our bills on time (I had a fail last month and forgot one), and pay my mom’s bills on time. And laundry…always laundry…
I can’t do it all. I’ve tried, and I am steadily getting more overwhelmed and more exhausted. Not so much physically exhausted, but mentally and emotionally I’m struggling.
But I have a plan.
My house is cluttered and nasty. Whenever I start thinking about cleaning, I get overwhelmed with where to start, and end up just keeping the dishes, countertops, stovetop clean. But mainly the dishes and countertops. Since I am already doing that, that’s the room I am going to start with and give it a good top to bottom and in the cabinets and corners cleaning. Then the bathrooms, and just go room by room until it’s maintainable. Unfortunately for the kids, they are going to get some additional chores….inside and out.
And this all may fail and I’ll just have a nasty house and trashy yard. lol
…in my mind. In reality, I was sucking wind. I ran the Rabbit Run 5K this past Saturday. By run, I mean I ran just a little over a mile until I was about to puke and then proceeded to walk up the hills, and run down and on the flat. I was not last overall. However, I was the last of the Brick City Running Tribe group. That was a given though. Last in my age group, too. But I finished. Oh, heck, I went. That was an accomplishment in itself because I woke up sick as a dog. But I paid a registration fee…
Brick City Running Tribe Representing! (Central Carolina Community College photo)
I totally needed all the motivation I could muster, which wasn’t much of my own. I was kind of freaking out about not being ready for it last week, and my good friend Molly kept telling me, “YOU GOT THIS!” and “YOU CAN DO THIS!” So being a bit on the snarky side, I said “I’m going to write “Molly says, “YOU CAN DO THIS!”" on my arm with a Sharpie. She said something to the effect of, “You better,” and so…I did.
Yes, I looked at that every single time I wanted to stop and puke. I didn’t puke, by the way.
Turns out, I was still in the beginning of being sick, and got worse. I tried to run Monday, and didn’t even make it halfway around the track before my run became a walk…because the DragonLady doesn’t run when she’s dizzy. I should have taken Sunday morning as a cue because I got dizzy singing, and seriously considered sitting down…even though I was leading. I think that falls under listening to your body when it is trying to tell you that you are sick. But I guess the antibiotics have kicked in because after the awfulness of yesterday (which is why I didn’t complete this post yesterday), I am feeling much better now, and 4.4 pounds lighter than yesterday morning. Yes, that was all kinds of fun losing that in one day….not. And yes, that was also partially the result of last week’s glutening at Andy’s as I was bloated up so much I looked pregnant before starting the antibiotics. So, yeah, the reaction is delayed, and so is put to rest the mystery on what causes the 1-2 hour runs. *sigh* Yes, Petra, I was in serious denial.
Since my Tuesday Training post is just getting written posted on Wednesday, Wholesome Wednesday post may or may not get done today. We’ll see. I have a busy night ahead, but part of it will be spent waiting on the oven and dryer, so how better to kill that time that blogging right?
Seriously I hate being sick. I hate taking medicine. I really don’t like other people. But, yet, here I am sick…again. That hay fever thing I had going on last week? Sinus infection now. *sigh*
Anywho, so I never got around to posting on Friday. I have a vague recollection of being at work Friday. I don’t remember Friday night at all, and no, there was no alcohol involved. But I woke up sick as a dog Saturday morning…with a 5k pending…more on that tomorrow.
1. I got rid of an item that I possessed only because hoarding is hereditary. Karyn’s oven went out, and, well, it just so happened that I years ago Daddy bought a Mcgraw Edison Sears push-button oven-broiler which you can still order a few replacement parts for from Sears. I thought it to be perfect for taking camping, but really it’s not. It is, however, quite convenient for baking dressing at the same time you are baking a ham (or a bird), or anything really that requires a different temp. He bought it for summertime baking rather than use the cookstove oven which would heat the whole house, and picked it because it was big enough to fit a cake pan in. Anyway, hopefully it will work for Karyn. And the hubby will be happy if it doesn’t come back to our house.
2. You know what’s funny? When you see a friend take their 5-year-old child by the hand and start walking them to the back at church, and hear, “I don’t want a spanking,” over and over. Oh, yeah, I sat on stage giggling (because I saw all but the act that warranted the spanking from my front of the building vantage point)…and it came back to bite me when I spied my teenage children sitting in the wing clowning around. ugh.
3. It is really aggravating to spend several hours getting everything all mixed up to make falafel, and then you see that you have to chill it for an hour. Yeah, it chilled for a day because it was going to be way to late to start frying that Saturday night. And I still can’t figure out what is missing from it so I can make it taste like Angelina’s falafel.
4. So I had to sing solo at church last night, and was not really nervous until….I got there and the Hispanic church was joining us…and I got stage fright all over again. Yeah, I had a case of the shakes. You would think since I stand up front and help lead singing nearly every Sunday that I wouldn’t still get a case of the nerves.
5. I have 3 running rules so far:
1. The DragonLady doesn’t run in the rain. I will make an exception, though, if I pay a registration fee.
2. The DragonLady doesn’t run if it is colder than 48 degrees (farenheit). This, too, will have an exception if I pay a registration fee.
3. The DragonLady doesn’t run if she’s dizzy.
Every now and then I’ll have an epiphany. Really, I just think it takes a while for my ADD to connect the dots between information. Or maybe I am just slow. Hahaha But Tuesday, I read this article and it hit a nerve that was already inflamed. This followed the one I had with last Thursday’s post that showed I’m not the only one with a sensitive nerve. But I really don’t want to turn this into a regular feature where I bash the churches I grew up in over perception (whether or not grounded in fact or emotion).
Of course, I posted the above article on Facebook, and, of course, it elicited a rather snarky comment (which I totally agreed with, btw, snark & all). I’ve kind of been mulling it over ever since, trying to remember any example of confessing sins to one another in any of the churches I have ever attended. I can remember a handful of instances of people getting publicly caught in sin, but no voluntary confessions.
Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. (James 5:16 ESV)
Oh, and I sure as heck wasn’t ever going to confess mine. Seriously? Drop the mask and show I’m still struggling with stuff? And be judged? Because, of course, that is what I expected. But the main problem with this is there is no accountability, so you just get deeper and deeper until suddenly you find yourself unable to cover it up, and it’s out in the open, huge and horrible as opposed to way back when it was just thoughts. How do I know this? Because I am pretty sure I am not the only one unable to self-regulate.
The heart is deceitful above all things,
and desperately sick;
who can understand it? (Jeremiah 17:9 ESV)
Left on our own with our own thoughts, it is really easy to rationalize and excuse….and do. For those of us who grew up in the church, I think we sometimes feel we are expected to have an easy walk especially if our parents were teachers or more especially preachers or deacons. I learned how to wear the mask as if I wasn’t struggling with sin, while at the same time, internally rationalizing how it was ok. “This isn’t such a big deal.” “That’s not really bad.” That stuff builds up…and hardens…and hurts when it’s broken off years later.
Somewhere along the line, I have learned from keeping my skellingtons locked away. I got to a point with a particular sin that was trying (and coming real close to succeeding) to manifest itself, I knew I either had to do the deed or get someone to help me through it. Prayer alone wasn’t helping. So I shared that struggle with 4 friends to hold me accountable to not do what I wanted to do, and who would be praying with me and for me. And that wasn’t an easy thing for an introvert who doesn’t trust anyone to do. You know what? It’s not so hard to deal with now. The entire situation has changed. Not immediately, and the underlying issue is still an issue, but it is no longer overwhelming and consuming.
So rather than bash, I’m pleading. Drop the masks. Be real. Just because you have been justified does not mean you have been glorified. There is a whole lot of sanctifying that takes place between the two. That’s the growth. That’s where the fruit is produced. That’s where you cannot hope to grow alone. There is a reason non-believers think we are all hypocrites. We are. We put on our masks and pretend that we no longer struggle with our old self, and instead of dying to self, we are killing our witness and testimony with our own self-righteousness.
Today is one of those days that I have a topic, I know what I want to say, I have the motivation, but I am not so sure I am really going to be coherent. Focus is not my friend today. I absolutely cannot block out the conversation around me. It’s not bad, it’s just blocking my concentration. So I’ve put on some classical symphony via Pandora, and it is not covering up any talking. *sigh*
Anyway, first confession time. Yesterday, as an office, we celebrated the birthdays of a current & former co-worker. We went to Andy’s, and I was thinking all morning how I could kind of halfway stick to my diet there. I looked at the menu for a salad which I knew wouldn’t by any means be healthy, but maybe not so bad. But looking at the ingredients, I knew that even grilled chicken would be gluteny, and the bacon would be full of msg, so I made a choice. If I’m going to be glutened anyway, I’m going to have a bacon cheeseburger…with onion rings. No doubt that is why I still have brain fog. I won’t lie, it tasted wonderful.
Since I have determined to eat healthy and natural, I have become increasingly aware of the deceptiveness of the use of “natural” or “all natural” in labeling.
I think the problem boils down to the use of the word “natural.” Everything we eat is natural. (Hang with me, Petra. lol) There is no food product we consume that is created from nothing. It may mixed/enhanced in a lab, but at the basic level (and by basic, I mean atomic), it is natural. The difference is whether or not it is naturally occurring. If it isn’t naturally occurring, then “natural” does not mean what you think it means. Our bodies were designed to process naturally occurring foods efficiently and effectively. We have learned to manipulate substances to enhance flavor, but our bodies just aren’t going to process high fructose corn syrup or any of the artificial sweeteners the way it processes sugar. Plus, it isn’t going to process refined sugar the same way it will process raw sugar.
This is incomplete, and lacking in references, but my brain fog doesn’t care, just like honey badger. My only real point is, beware that the word “natural” probably doesn’t mean what you think it does. And I may or may not repeat myself redundantly.
And maybe, just maybe, I will get built up enough to be able to run farther than a mile. lol
I’m really kind of amazed at the number of appliances we have. Yeah, that is mostly what’s in the pantry. Appliances, the big stock pot, dutch oven, & pressure cooker. 
