1. How to know you are tired: Friday night I went to bed, and I remember lying down. The hubby was reading, and the next thing I knew, the alarm was going off. Not only do I not remember him turning the light off, I don’t remember him getting up and leaving around 4am-ish.
2. We saw The Avengers Saturday. Nearly everyone I know who had seen it already raved about it. I liked it a lot, but I don’t know that I could really rave about how good it was. I do recommend it, however. It was worth the admission price, and even worth having to sit right beside a total stranger. Yes, I was thinking, “With all the open seats in here, you have to sit right beside me?” I have issues. Anyway, my favorite line was “Clench it up, Legolas!” I was the only one of us who caught the Legolas reference. It probably wouldn’t have been quite so funny for me if I hadn’t been thinking the whole time that Loki looked like Grima Wormtongue. Second favorite line was from the Hulk. “Puny god.”
3. Introduced the hubby to Angelina’s Kitchen Saturday. He loved the Greek salad & falafel.
4. Attempted and failed to replace the deck belt on the mower. Though I guess I could technically consider removing the old one a success, but really, I just cut it and pulled it out. I guess it might have been easier if I had taken the deck off, but that was going to prove to be entirely too much effort. However, it may turn out to be unavoidable.
5. Ran again Saturday. I’ve been working on different form – trying to incorporate what my first TI tried to teach me, and lean forward. I seem to be able to run a little bit (just a little bit) faster, and a little bit farther. I could tell I was using different muscles and dealt with my left calf cramping Sunday & my right shin twinging today. I think both have calmed down enough to run this evening. I still have a love/hate relationship with running. I have to make myself do it, I hate it the whole time I am running, but I feel fantastic after…once I can breathe and am not puking… And maybe, just maybe, I will get built up enough to be able to run farther than a mile. lol
6. I feel so blessed to know 4 missionary couples, plus a young woman who fresh out of high school left for the mission field with one of those 4 couples. I could write a whole post on that, but not at work because I would end up crying. But I can’t tell you how hard it was to get up after hearing my friend Karyn speak about her call to the mission field and try to sing this:
I may or may not have almost broke down…multiple times…
1. I am bipolar today. I woke up ready to kill the white cat. I’m not sure she will survive until I can get her spayed. But then as I was taking stuff out to the van, it was just so nice and peaceful out that I got instant good mood. But then I got to work. *sigh*
2. Remember when I said “Be real”? Yeah, I had to eat my words and be real this week. It really isn’t fun even when you know the response will be in love…and it was.
3. Had my 2nd follow up with the ENT this week, after totally forgetting about and missing the original appointment last week. Everything looks good and I don’t have to go back for 6 months.
4. Speaking of the ENT appointment, I figured since my lunch was heavy on onion & garlic and the doc would be up close & personal to my face, it would be kind to brush my teeth before I went. That’s one of the reasons I keep a toothbrush & toothpaste in my desk at work. That and in case I forget before I leave home. Yes, that has happened and is also why I have deodorant in my desk. Anyway, I haven’t used Colgate since like January? I’ve been using Tom’s flouride free which took some getting used to, and now I know why. The Colgate was like brushing my teeth with sugar. Seriously. I’m not a big fan of Tom’s either and may just go straight baking soda & peroxide when it’s empty.
5. I caved to a temptation a few weeks ago and bought a soda. It was not good, and so I didn’t drink it even though I used to love it.
6. I ran at lunch today and now I hurt.
7. Needs/Wants the time & motivation to fix my sewing machine and then the time & motivation to actually sew. I’m also thinking about trying (again) to learn how to crochet. Opal inspires me.
8. My mom turns 80 next month. 80. That’s old. She is the second oldest in her family now with one cousin older than her.
9. I keep wondering when/how/if I got glutened since the Andy’s incident over 3 weeks ago. Either I have been glutened since (despite being careful) or I have been paying for that one big time…and long time…
10. I need a vacation. A real vacation. It doesn’t have to be very long. Just a weekend would do the trick.
Did I even have a weekend? I felt like I was going non-stop the whole time. I don’t think at any point I really sat and just relaxed. Not even when Molly called. Seriously, I was pacing the whole time, and that’s funny because I was talking about the hubster and the son just last week how they cannot sit still and talk on the phone, but pace all over the house the whole time. It was probably even Molly that I was telling that to. Now, to be honest, the only reason I wasn’t sitting for that call was because I was upstairs, and my phone downstairs when she called, and I kind of ran down the stairs to answer it and so the pacing could be considered a cool-down. hahaha!
It took me 3 hours to transcribe 52 minutes of audio.
I can’t remember how many times I had to buy groceries. Yes, even with a list. Clearly, I didn’t have a good list.
I realized Saturday afternoon that I am signed up for a race this Saturday. Somehow, I lost a week. Eek. I am totally not ready…
I ate a ton of garlic yesterday. My lunch today had a ton of onion. I know my co-workers are loving both. hahaha
Have I ever mentioned there are not enough hours in the day? Have I ever mentioned I envy stay-at-home moms? Yeah, I never thought I’d say that. Seriously I do.
Hates when I got to search for something, get distracted, and then can’t remember what I was searching for.
Wonders how much of my hair will come out. It’s been coming out the last few days like it was before I went gluten free… *sigh*
Speaking of gluten, the daughter made gluteny pancakes last night and I almost picked one up and ate it. And someone needs to run up to Whole Foods and get me a loaf of gf bread….that isn’t frozen… Which reminds me, I am almost out of gf hamburger buns meaning I need to make a trip to Trader Joe’s…
I don’t really have anything, and it’s getting late in the day, so…
I cannot to this day hear Layla start up without remembering that awful commercial.
This song always makes me smile.
Yes, it is on my running playlist, and yes, I always sing it out loud if I’m running with Jamie. That’s why she makes it a point to always have her iPod when we run together. haha
This isn’t on my running playlist, but it is on my iPod. Dolly only gets out “Why’d” before Jamie is saying “NO!” It always makes me smile, too, and remember sitting at Pizza Hut after getting off work at Sweeden’s with my friends who had all just gotten off work at Bonanza. Fun times.
This was so totally worth wading through multiple Four Seasons videos.
I really don’t have the motivation to blog today. That isn’t really any different than any other day, I know, but it hits home more now that I have come up with theme days to help my stay consistent in writing. Mondays & Fridays are the wide-open topic days, so here I am on a Monday morning with no idea what to write. So, you get a rundown of my weekend…starting with Friday.
1. I opted to take the weekend off for running in order to recuperate. Apparently my tripping incident on Thursday hurt me because it was very difficult to get around Friday. I still feel a little leg achy today, but that isn’t why I’m not running today. I didn’t feel like shaving my legs this morning, and it will be too hot to run in long pants this evening. I know that’s lame. I’ll get on the stationary bike tonight.
2. I succumbed to temptation Friday night and bought a bottle of wine…and then drank the whole thing in about an hour and a half. I woke up Saturday morning with quite the hangover. I’ve had worse, mind you, but still. It threw off my groove and robbed me of any motivation I had to do anything. Though I still managed to get the kitchen mostly cleaned up.
3. I decided to try coloring my hair again, and did so Saturday morning. I used a brand and color recommended by my cousin Kelli, and the color was perfect! However, every place the dye touched my skin gave me hives. I am all swelled up today which makes my melon head even bigger. Thank goodness I still have long hair which I am letting fall in my face today whereas normally, I don’t because it bothers me to have hair in my face. But, I’ll make that sacrifice rather than look like an Area 51 alien. haha
4. Last night I was the only member of the music team at church so not only was I the only accompaniment, I was also the only vocal leader. Now I knew the piano player would not be there so when we did the schedule for April, I made sure I picked hymns that I knew well. Or so I thought. Neither of the evening songs are really that old. Both are copyrighted 1982, so while they were 80′s contemporary, they are old enough to be in our hymn books. Anyway, like I said, I felt confident that I knew them both…until I started trying to sing We Will Glorify. I was standing there (still playing and singing) and wondering why the congregation was singing differently from me. About midway through the second verse I actually took enough time to glance at the notes and realized, “Oh. They are singing correctly. I’m the one that’s off.” Fail. At least it was the evening service and only members. That would have been worse yesterday morning when we had a ton of visitors. haha
I remember how much Molly loves that song. I posted a live version of it on Facebook one Friday last summer, and she seemed very appreciative. LOL That evening I met her, Petra, Brittany, and Josh at church to work on decorating for VBS. She was even more appreciative of Petra and I singing 9 to 5 to her shortly after I walked in the door, and I think Josh and Britta were just as appreciative. haha
That was the beginning of a fun week, and that is saying something because I don’t use “fun” and “VBS” together. Molly had finagled me into doing music, much like Sarah had done the year before. Neither of them really had much of a fight to get me to do it because I would rather lead the music any day than be a floater or a teacher. I was so pumped because the music was really upbeat, and heavy on drums and I got to pick out a couple of songs that I just loved. I had a leader packet for the music & skits (because the hubbster was PandaMania Pete & therefore, the skit guy), and it really helped bunches in getting the hand motions down with the songs because it described what the motions were supposed to convey.
First night, Molly said to me at some point “You are killing me with Sing Sing Sing.” I totally did not understand, and would have forgotten about it had I not later made some awful statement about the prizes to Petra who also mentioned Sing Sing Sing…and visually explained what they had thought when they saw the hand motions. I just about DIED laughing.
It slipped by me because I head read the explanation in the leader packet and knew that the questionable hand motions were SUPPOSED to be that of a choir director. However, the actual motions themselves failed…badly. As you can see if you watched the VBS video.
The hubby helped with the leading and so that first night, I was kind of in the middle, hubby was to my left, and Molly was to my right. The second night, she had convinced Petra to get up there with us (because Petra has some dance moves – seriously – hahaha), and so the four of us lead with the hubby and I taking one side and Molly & Petra the other. By this point, Sing Sing Sing was a running joke, and I had stopped doing the motions exactly like the video. But then night 3 happened. We started Sing Sing Sing, and suddenly Molly and Petra are in front of me, FACING me, overaccentuating the moves in perfect coordination as if they had practiced that, and I just lost it. They were then dubbed my Solid Gold Dancers.
Admittedly, I miss being able to eat whatever I want. I mean I really miss it. You know what I don’t miss? Being bloated daily. Brain fog after every meal. My hair falling out. Weighing over 200 pounds. General lethargy. Ok, I still have bouts of lethargy that is unrelated to what I eat. Sometimes honey badger gets stung by the cobra and just doesn’t care and has to take a nap. LOL If you are new, or just missed it, here is the background for the change in what I eat, and when the ante got upped.
I have to repeatedly and grudgingly remind myself that a lot of my issues stem from a gluten intolerance. But I cannot ignore certain facts when I eat gluten free: my hair doesn’t fall out, my scalp isn’t so itchy, I’m regular (who knew I wasn’t before?), the extreme mood swings are all but gone and only surface every 3 weeks…which is now a consistent cycle, I don’t have heartburn much anymore, I’m losing weight even when I am not exercising, I’m not tired all the time, and I just really feel better in general. I have done so much reading up on healthy/clean/whole food eating that I refuse to eat fast food, and am leery about chain restaurant food. After the withdrawls when I gave up the artificial coloring, flavoring, and preservatives, I want a farm where I raise all my food. But that isn’t happening on 1.6 acres, and I don’t plan on moving back to the 40 acres in AR while the kids are still in school.
Admittedly, I was a total skeptic of the whole change in diet. I repeated scoffed at Petra, until I started listening to her and saw & felt the results. Oh, and I got scoffed at by my entire family too, so those chickens came home to roost. The hubby has relented since seeing the changes not only in attitude & physical appearance, but also how I have been more diligent than not at sticking with it. Though, it has been hard getting back on the wagon after falling off during surgery recovery. Not that I can use that excuse for glutening myself 3 times last week. But I did say as I was eating both the jalapeno burger from Army City & dipping the bread in the shrimp scampi at Carrabba’s that any ill effects would be well worth the taste. And, oh, did they ever taste WONDERFUL, especially the Carrabba’s.
All in all, it truly is a change in lifestyle every bit as much as forcing myself to run everyday. I have a love/hate relationship with running. I have a love of eating. But, as my doctor said, I can change my lifestyle now and get healthy, or I can change it in 20 years while I am being medicated for diabetes, high blood pressure, and heart disease. I can be fat, or I can be fit(ish). I choose the latter.
This video doesn’t really have anything to do with the post, but it got stuck in my head when I decided on that title.
In an attempt to blog regularly, I am following Molly’s advice and doing themed days. This may even last past a week. hahaha I decided on Training Tuesday to be the day I blog about exercising and fitness. This is a new thing in my life because the only time I have ever been remotely fit was in high school when I went through spring training to play basketball (which got nixed completely at the beginning of the year thanks to a ruptured appendix right before school started), and when I was in basic training…in 1995. Wait, there was also late 2001 through mid-2002 (my last year in the Air Force) when I worked my tail off to lose 30 pounds because 1) I was NOT going to buy new uniforms right before I got out (stop lossed or not) and 2) I really didn’t want to be put on the fat girl program. I’ve probably mentioned that before.
Anyway, so last summer, Molly joined the newly formed Brick City Running Tribe, and would not let me say no to joining also. That right there is craziness…joining a running club in the summer in the south. But I did it, and shortly after that, Petra’s husband started leading a crossfit group that I got sucked into also. Those workouts resulted in my first ever exercise-induced vomit. But then it got cold, and Petra got too pregnant (but mainly too cold), so the crossfit quit happening. I am still amazed, though, that during one of those workouts I did 100 sit-ups. Anyway, with no crossfit, and now Molly has moved to Alaska, I am having to mostly motivate myself, though I do get a good amount of encouragement from Molly (remotely), Petra, and Karyn. And while I could blow them off, a few of my co-workers give me some encouragement, and one often comes in the office in the morning saying “Did you bring your stuff?” meaning he expects me to go run at lunch. Now that the weather has warmed up, I have no excuse.
I run with BCRT on Tuesday nights because I cannot do the Friday morning run. With the Ritterbecks and Josh & Trisha both moved away, I’ve been reliant on Jamie to be my main motivator on the BCRT run. The non-prego Cardens haven’t been coming either. I really miss Justice & Jarvis running past me 5 or 6 times. LOL I do still have a motivator there, and tonight she literally grabbed my hand and pulled me along to get me running again. See, my groove got blown right away because I ended up behind a perfume fog and couldn’t breathe. Seriously, if we are outside and I can taste it, you have too much on. Plus, who puts on that much perfume to run? It also gave me a headache. And you know, I really wrote all of the preceding stuff just to complain about the perfume. But, now that I know for certain who it is (and no, tonight wasn’t the first time I got fogged), I know who to steer clear of. Fortunately, I normally have to start my run early because I have to be at Bible study 30 min after the start of the run…and I’m not that fast…so, I’ll be able to avoid the fog anyway.
I start with this video clip, not that it is really relevant, but I cannot encounter the word metaphor in any context without remembering this scene from Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home:
After not running for a month between the flu and the surgery, I took off to the track during lunch yesterday marking the 2 week point from surgery. Ok, actually, it was 2 weeks + 1 day, but I guess I had enough forethought to know if I ran on Wednesday, I wouldn’t be able to run again until Friday which I don’t want to do because then I won’t run on Saturday. And I want to run Saturday. Anyway, the run completely sucked, and I discovered that I cuss a lot in my head when I run. Seriously, I tweeted that after I got back to work.
Turns out, I cuss a lot (in my head) when I run for the 1st time in a month.:-/
So, it’s probably a good thing that I didn’t try to capture my thoughts as I ran like Whitney did and blogged: True Life: This is What I Think About When I Run. On the other hand, you all missed out on my internal dialogue alternately complaining/celebrating what is on my running playlist…which will be updated because Guns ‘N Roses has to go, and there isn’t near enough Paula Abdul. Oh, but you aren’t going to miss out on this at then end of 3rd lap/beginning of 4th lap.
Consistently walk fast if you can’t run.
Yes! More Paula!
(Started singing) “Baby he could promise me diamonds. Even if he promised me pearls. Honey, you know I ain’t lyin’. Listen as I tell it to the world!”
Great. I’m singing along with Paula as my nose runs. I’m bringing sexy back. Hmmm, I should probably make sure it’s not bleeding. Crap. It’s not. I can’t quit.
That’s not exact because I am sure that “Crap” was not the four letter word I used. And I know by now you are thinking “Where’s the metaphor?” It’s coming, but you know if I have an opportunity to link whore, I’m taking it.
So throughout the run, which was really mostly a fast walk, I was in a constant mental battle with myself over quitting. I went over there with a choice: I could run the sidewalk around the grounds – it’s a .75 mile loop – or I could run the track, which isn’t a standard quarter mile track. Rob said 5 laps is about 3.2 or 3.3 miles. He also said one round is .61 miles, and so that math doesn’t really equate. Still, I go with the 3.2 or 3.3. Just because. 4 laps of the sidewalk is 3 miles, so regardless, 5 laps of the track is over 3 miles, and so that’s what I chose. The track is also smoother, so that was another plus. But I digress.
The battle waged. I lamented the lack of shade which there is more of along the sidewalk. I lamented my lack of stamina and it’s not like I am a fast runner anyway. I lamented the wind. I determined that whether or not I use my inhaler has no bearing on my wheezing. I wanted to quit before I finished the 3rd lap. As I neared the end of the 4th lap, I got a little dizzy and thought I was either going to pass out or puke. Or maybe both. And I had long since given up on trying to do any more running at that point. But, no. I was more determined to do the full 5 laps even as a fast walk than I was to quit. Barely.
Life is like that a lot of times. You’re going along great at first, and then you get a little winded so you slow down. But sometimes it still sucks and you just want to give up and quit. Sometimes you trip, or even fall on your face. Sometimes you start hurting (not like a pull or a break) and you just want to sit and nurse that hurt instead of pushing through it. I didn’t fall on my face running, and really haven’t done that since high school (publically), but metaphorically, I fall on my face a lot doing life. Tripping over the same things over and over. Sometimes it gets really discouraging and I don’t want to get back up and go again. There is a short term payoff for wallowing in self-pity, just like there would have been a short-term payoff for quitting after 3 laps yesterday. But the short term never satisfies.
So as I lamented my lack of endurance to run as I kept telling myself “at least walk fast,” I thought of the words of Paul.
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable. So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air.
(1 Corinthians 9:24-26 ESV)
Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God.
(Hebrews 12:1-2 ESV)*
I don’t have really big goals for running. Not only do I have no desire to run a marathon, I don’t even have any desire to run a half-marathon. I want to be able to run a 5K, but no more than a 10K. But before I do either of those, I have to be able to run a mile. While I can’t even run a full mile yet without having to drop to a fast walk, I know it is possible. Once upon a time I was able to run 2 miles straight, and even do a fast sprint at the end. It was 1995, and I was in basic training, but it is possible. I wasn’t fast then, but I made my time with almost a minute to spare. haha Still, that’s why even if I only cumulatively run a mile, I still do at least 3. It is slow going, but I am gradually building endurance. After not running for a month, what little I managed yesterday hurt. My calves cramped all night. It hurts when I get up and walk today. In fact, it’s not just my legs that are sore today. My back and shoulders are sore, too. Today, I rest. Tomorrow, I try again.
And just as I keep walking when I can’t run anymore, I keep getting back up when I fall on my face in life and pressing forward. Because I have a goal. When I reach the end of my life, I want to be able to say, like Paul:
I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.
(2 Timothy 4:7 ESV)
*Paul is traditionally considered the writer of Hebrews.
And maybe, just maybe, I will get built up enough to be able to run farther than a mile. lol
