Archive for the Maniacal Monday Category
I really should have sat down and written last night when I had things to say. Or at least made a note of what I wanted to write about like I suggested to Petra. Haha! But in my defense, I was sick as a dog from the flight back from Arkansas. But Enterprise hooked me up with a sweet rental car: I almost didn't make that trip. I really didn't want to. I didn't want to face my mom's health issues because avoidance is my default action (or inaction as it were) when I can't practice full on denial. But I plucked up the courage to do it anyway. Oh my word. Her short term memory is completely gone. She had a stroke while she was in the hospital recovering from pneumonia (and she has COPD), and while the memory issues could be attributed to Alzheimer's, her inability to say the right words is not something she had prior. It was hard. Hard to listen to and watch her struggle to get out what she wanted to say, and hard to figure out what she meant. But she gets around fine, and I wore her out! Because that's how I roll. ;) She's in the nursing home for rehabilitation, and they let me check her out and run her around. I took her to the Veteran's Walk of Flags by the hospital first. We did not walk the whole thing. But my cousin Sharon was interviewed later that day while she was there: Flags Flying for Veterans In Morrilton Today It is such a beautiful and humbling display, and I feel honored that I now have a flag among so many others. I am so very grateful to Sharon for making sure all the Eoff family veterans got flags. Then we went out to the Bishop family reunion and I didn't take a single picture of any of my family. :( I did take one down at the creek: Because the reunion isn't just complete without a walk down to the creek. It was the thing to do when I was a kid, and it still is at 44. Not that I got off the bridge because the possibility of falling and getting wet doesn't appeal to me anymore. Mainly because I didn't want my phone ruined. haha! But I had a great time, and didn't get glutened. Mom seemed to know everybody and that was great! I had a good talk with my sister-in-law even if it was short and kept semi on the down low given what I shared with her. And throughout the weekend I got to have really good visits with family and a couple old friends and my mom's neighbor. And then after I dropped Mom off Saturday night and left the nursing home, I drove around town and bawled. Now, I don't like to fly, and have been terrified of flying since 1999. So as I drove up to RDU to leave, I thought I would try a little something different than I normally do. See, normally the DragonLady doesn't get on a plane sober. Granted, last summer I flew sober, but I was a wreck the whole time. This time, drinking wasn't an option I was willing to entertain so I prayed and asked God to remove my fear of flying. You know, it worked. I was not at all scared coming or going. Even with the turbulence and thunderstorms around Charlotte. And no, I didn't ask God to give me a good rental car. That was pure bonus. hahaha!
I should just go ahead an announce a blog hiatus because every time I have ever done that I've been able to write. It's not that I don't have anything to write, it's just organizing thoughts into something coherent. Of course, there will be no coherency in this post just because. ;) I took off work Friday so I could take the hubster to court. Told him early in the week that I had the day off. Late Thursday night he informed me that he had another ride. Alrighty then. He nearly got arrested due to the county rescheduling and not letting anyone know but him. So he goes back in June and I will not be his transportation this time. Since I had the day, I took care of some bidness at the insurance agent, and went to Chapel Hill to pick up my race packet for the Tar Hell 10 Miler. I love how fancy it's all personalized. More on the race later. I was a little hungry and definitely thirsty, so I stopped in Pittsboro at Chatham Marketplace, and they had what I wanted. I decided to have some fun and sent my sponsor a text saying, "So I picked up a 6 pack for lunch..." I followed that up with this pic: After eating the second one, I sent Petra a text saying that I had just had a mouthgasm. Yes, it was that good. About the 10 miler. I woke up at 4:30 am with abdominal cramps from hell. Same thing happened about a month ago. So rather than treating it as a stomach bug, I took some ibuprofen and the pain was gone around noon. I don't know what is up with that crap, or the hot flash from hell that had me up from 2-3:30 this morning. My knee is hurt also so there was a valid(ish) reason for not racing other than the fact that I haven't run in so long I don't remember the last time I ran. After the meds kicked in Saturday, the good idea fairy showed up and convinced me that since it was such a nice day it would be a great idea to wash and wax my car. I'm pretty sure running 10 miles would have been less painful. 4 hours, and I am still sore today. I got some good sleeps that night and didn't wake up until 9 yesterday. Oh, and Amber hatched Easter Sunday: 2 are already spoken for, thank goodness. She had 4, but one didn't make it. Enjoy your Monday.
While I will use a quote from Steel Magnolias at the drop of a hat, I can't say that one is entirely true. Namely because I am not a big fan of tears. Sometimes I just get so overwhelmed that I just know a good cry will help. Problem is, sometimes I am totally distraught, but yet just too numb to have the meltdown I need. On top of all the life going on around me, I got sick last week. At one point, I was real close to going to the ER. But the pain finally became less frequent and less severe thankfully before I had to take my daughter to her appointment. Now she had been asking for a bank account forever, and I told her I would take her to the bank after her appointment. So we did, and through the course of talking to the gentlemen setting everything up, he got to telling us stories. We laughed until we cried. I felt so much better. Someone told me that I should find something that will make me deep down belly laugh hard when I feel like I need to cry and can't because I'll get the same emotional release I need. I am definitely a believer now. Of course I have to over-analyze everything I do and experience, and this was no exception. I will, however, spare you that introspection and analyzation and just leave it as is. Sometimes, I just need to laugh and laugh hard. Even when I hurt.
I fell over in Walmart yesterday. Stone cold sober, and not even sick. Just a word of caution: If the aisle seems too narrow to turn your cart around, it is. I guess it was just my turn to be an example of peopleofwalmart.com. Hopefully the other lady in the aisle didn't snap a picture and upload it. I never looked back. lol I think that is Tiger's favorite spot. Or maybe his second favorite because his favorite spot may be the one where his butt is in my face. It was a really nice weekend. I got out Saturday and spent a lot more time out than I intended. I really wanted to go for a bike ride, but I took James to Lee & Rachel's. I wanted Starbucks, and since we were close(ish) to Southern Pines, that's where I went. I did not, however, stop at Starbucks as half of Moore County was there. So I went to Hobby Lobby after I had taken a few photos around the area. I sat Saturday night sorting and organizing my fasteners. It was quite relaxing and I was almost able to completely block out what Chad and Alex were watching. The only thing I really managed to accomplish was washing my clothes and picking up my Flonase prescription. This post really has nothing to do with anything. But it's a post. With pictures. ;)
You know what I haven't done in a while? A list. 1. Instagram is so flaky via web. At least mine is. Likes I leave disappear. Comments I leave show up on different photos. Aggravating. 2. I wuss out so easily on a virtual run. As I was pushing my entire grocery budget full of groceries across the Walmart parking lot Saturday afternoon, I told Jamie that I would NOT be running outside in that wind. Then I texted Petra to say it would be 5 (4.97) elliptical miles. Then that didn't even happen. Hindsight: I should tell Karyn and Molly before I have to run that I need to run. I listen to them better when exercise is involved. 3. Speaking of Petra, we went to La Dolce Vita Friday night because I wanted pizza. So after the waitress leaves after we gave her our orders Petra says to me, "Did you just wink at her?" I didn't even realize I did it. There we have it. I'm a winker. Apparently. And I said "winker" not "wanker." 4. I played with the C.O.R.E. Worship Team yesterday. As always it was fun, and this time I didn't need my chord cheat except for one song. Bradford got us all together for a group shot after the last service (minus one): The last service was extra fun (or funny) because I had a case of vertigo going on. That's how I felt. Like Lucille Two. I nearly fell over several times including in the bathroom. 5. This irritated me. I really dislike political and religious bumper stickers. Doesn't matter what side either. 6. I've been really slack lately commenting on other people's blogs. I'm still reading, I just can't generally formulate anything more than "Hey, great post," which just feels like commenting to get people to read my blog. Not that I have ever been above link whoring, but this just seems dirtier.
I am really glad I haven't written in my journal since February 7, 2013. Kind of. I'm glad because so much of it consists of a record of James' drinking, and did not and do not need to keep track of that. The last entry was about my dad; the first time I put down in writing that he was verbally abusive, and that I suffered because of it. I have now pretty much addressed all that, and am working on healing (and not perpetuating it). With those 2 big things to deal with, I am glad I finally broke down (literally), and am getting treatment. I am also glad that Dr Garlick convinced me to continue taking happy pills with the half dose. In fact, I might even see about having him add a mild anti-anxiety since recurrent anxiety is as big an issue and the recurrent depression. And here I am still putting my junk out on the blog. lol. Except not really. There are things that I've heard and read over the past few days that I really need to capture. But it's not stuff that needs to be blogged. So why even mention it at all in a blog post? :dunno: I don't know. I feel like writing, but I just don't really have anything to say? Anyway, I see my feelings doctor this evening. She'll get a lot of the details. :)
I bought 2 new pairs of pants over the weekend. This morning I put on one of them thinking they were brown. They are purple. I'm not even the least bit mad. ;) I am sick again. It's the same crap as I had a couple of weeks ago so I guess the hubs and I are just passing it back and forth. Saturday felt like a hangover and it has gone downhill from there. And yes, I am guzzling water. I made a little trip to Cary Friday that I didn't really want to make. But, I got a pickup ordered for my acoustic guitar. Actually, 2 got ordered so I will have to take one back. :sigh: I picked up some stuff from Michaels which wasn't really a bad experience. The line wasn't real crazy. But, I walked into Old Navy, and turned around and walked back out because it WAS crazy. Then I went to JC Penney to get a new purse, which is how I ended up with new pants and bras. Because sales. Anyway, I get back home, and James came out, and then asked "What happened?" while pointing at the front of my car. I broke my car. I looked up underneath the bumper and saw bunch of dead grass stuck, and then remembered a few days ago turning too soon out of the driveway and hitting the ditch a little. Guess it was a little more hit than I thought. :( Despite the sick, I was determined to get my hair cut Saturday. Nothing big, just layered. I was tired, and as the lady was cutting, there were a couple of times I shut my eyes, and was on the verge of napping. I think if it had been a dude, I would have gone to sleep because men play with your hair way more than women. Anyway, got that all done and went on a shopping trip to Walmart because I just couldn't see any way around it without going farther than I wanted to go and spending more than I wanted to spend. The north Chatham Walmart wasn't all crazy, and it really wasn't a bad trip at all. A couple of weeks or so ago, I saw a giveaway on a blog for a necklace that I loved! I'm pretty sure since I have heard nothing, I didn't win. However, I thought, "I can make that." It took a lot of trips for chains and connecting rings, and finally some ingenuity, but I made a similar necklace. Also, I made about 5 other necklaces, and have an idea I'm toying around with in my head with regards to jewelry making. I have no pictures yet. Sunday morning, I had a weird dream. I have lots of weird dreams, but there was a lot of things in this dream that overlapped even though they are not at all related. I had to return a lawn mower to Lowes. But this Lowes in my dream had like a park on the grounds, and the Bridges family were there picnicking. Specifically, Gerald & Bonnie, Joe & Karyn & kids, and Jerry & Deanna & kids. Oh, and I haven't met Jerry & Deanna in real life. I pretty much know what prompted them all being in the dream, but not at a park at Lowes. Anyway, so I decided the lawn mower in question needed to be tested one more time before returning, so I went out to the highway shoulder to mow. There was a woman out there mowing and she stopped to help a passerby whose car was pulled over on the shoulder in front of her. I needed to ask her if it was ok if I mowed a little bit too, and she wouldn't stop and let me ask her that real quick so I yelled at her and made her let me ask. And then I mowed anyway, and the mower worked fine. After waking up, I realized that rude woman was the Commissary manager at Tinker AFB when I was stationed there who ignored me when I tried to stop and ask her about formula. Apparently, I am still angry about that incident. lol I was on the worship team schedule for Sunday, and got there early in the pouring down rain. I was chatting with Pastor Nate a little bit, and he spoke an email into his phone for later, and then said how nice it is that Siri takes those down for him like that. I mentioned that my Siri can't understand me because either I slur my words, or mumble, or talk too hillbilly to it. That prompted him to ask where I am from originally. Told him Arkansas and he said, "Really? Where in Arkansas?" So I gave him the standard where Morrilton is before saying Morrilton. Because even Arkansans don't know where Birdtown is unless they are from Conway County or related. Anyway, he said, "So about an hour away from Stuttgart?" Because Pastor Benji was in Stuttgart duck hunting. Small world. Bradford had to change the key of one of the songs. Was not a big deal since it was just a B to A, and I was able to do the chord changes pretty well since it was just 4 chords. I think I lost my place playing during every single song. Shawn said it all sounded great, so I guess I didn't do too bad. :) There was no afternoon service, and James was at Lee & Rachel's for the afternoon, and I had a nice quiet house to myself for the afternoon. It was fantastic. James cooked beans, but they didn't get done until late, and I kept looking at a steak in the fridge and told him that it needed to be cooked or frozen soon. So he cooked it for me. He then said, that if it was too much that he would finish it off for me. I said, "Oh, I can take in a lot of meat." And giggled. He said, "Yes, I know." hahaha! Last night, I was so worn out that I got in the bed at like 7. I was also cold and couldn't get my feet warm, so that was another reason. Anyway, I was laying there reading, and my phone rang. After saying "What the heck" because no one calls my cell phone that late on a Sunday, I picked it up and it was Chad. So I answered with "Really?" He said something about Tumblr being blocked again, and I said "You could have just texted me." Regardless, he didn't know I was home. lol. And Tumblr was blocked again this morning even though I specifically allowed it multiple times, so I'm switching out AVG's filter for NetNanny tonight.
Let me start off with a confession. I didn't run this weekend. I was going to Saturday, but I slept in, and then we had to go to Lowes, and then I had some Christmas prep to do which took well into Sunday. Plus, it was pretty stinking hot for the weekend before Christmas. Mid 70's? Really? So I was like "I'll run Sunday morning because it is supposed to rain and it won't seem so hot." Right. It didn't rain until after 6pm. Whatevs. I start leave tomorrow, and will have the rest of the week to run/bike whenever. ;) Christmas shows. So, I have several DVDs and one VHS of my favorite Christmas cartoons/claymations. Every year I take the time to watch all of them, though usually not in one big marathon viewing (not that there are that many), and I've just been doing one here and there. Last night I watched Frosty the Snowman. Like you care. lol. Anyway, so I am watching it, and the whole thing is just so ridiculously bad. I had to stop myself from voicing my irritation with the whole thing on social media. And then I had to watch The Year Without a Santa Claus to purge. As if that premise of a story is any better. ;) I woke up with hives this morning. Fun times. I think I went to bed with them, but I didn't realize the full scope of the itching until I got up this morning. :-/ Friday night I took both kids to A.C. Moore. It was supposed to just be Jamie and to only get yarn. $130 later... :eek: Chad started an "argument" with me on the way back. He was on the offensive, and I was trying to explain my position without being a jerk, but it was hard because I kept getting frustrated with myself for not being able to clearly articulate what I wanted to say. Meanwhile, Jamie was in the backseat laughing at the exchange which ended so ridiculously and abruptly with Jamie almost choking on her food from laughing so hard. She said later, "No one wins when Chad argues." lol Speaking of Lowes, we got paint Saturday as James wants to go ahead and paint the living room. Finally. I've been bemoaning those gray walls since we bought the place. He also told me how he wants to decorate the house, and essentially, the living room is going to become a "formal" dining room, and the den/family room will be the living room. Lots of work with that, but a lot of it will be finishing what was started in the den/family room. Apparently Amber isn't pregnant. And I think Tiger is the one in heat because he seems to be after her much more than she is bawling. Why haven't I gotten them fixed yet? :sigh: Also, someone pooped in the floor instead of the litter box during the night. Pretty sure that was KitKat. And finally, here is a little Snow Miser and Head Miser. Because they make that show. :)
I didn't miss you. Monday, that is. ;) I also never got around to writing anything after last Monday. Therapy + sick + work + avoidance = DragonLady going all honey badger. As in honey badger got stung by the cobra and had to take a nap. lol I didn't really do much of anything over the weekend. I took Jamie to A.C. Moore in the rain, and took one look at the line at Starbucks and we both decided we did not need any fru-fru coffee. We stopped at the thrift store in an effort to find her a scarf, but they didn't have one she wanted. They did, however, have a black shawl I wanted, so score! She already called me old over it. Stop judging me. ;) Anyway, once we got back home, I didn't leave the house again until this morning. Today was my annual physical, and that's just always fun. I was hoping not to get the bonus rectal exam because exit only, but alas. :sigh: He did say that if my pap is normal that we could do that every 3 years instead of annually since I am low risk in that area. And again he mentioned that I would be getting a colonoscopy when I am 45...which is just a little over a year away. Ugh. My bad cholesterol is high, but my good cholesterol is good and the ratio between the 2 is in the normal range. I didn't even pay attention to my blood pressure, and he didn't mention it so I guess it's ok. It pretty much has been fine since I started running and lost weight. Go figure. ;) Everything else blood-wise is fine except for vitamin D which is pretty stinking low. So I will be taking 4000 UI instead of my sporadic 1000 UI. And we are cutting the dosage for my happy pills to see if that is behind the increase in muscle and joint pain. Given the non-improvement of the situation(s) that prompted me to ask for happy pills, he recommended I continue to take them for a while which might not be a bad idea since my co-workers last week said "I don't know how you are handling all that so well." The Doc said something similar. Therapy and happy pills. And a LOT of prayer. And whiny texts to Petra. lol I brought up one of the issues tonight, and it got talked about. I disagree with the reasoning, but I understand. And so patience I must have. Had to run to the dollar store because Chad wasn't kidding when he said he was out of paper, and I needed a couple of things that are just so much cheaper there. I got him and Jamie both new notebooks, and as soon as I got back they both started in with "What did you get me?" Will they ever outgrow that? Anyway, I looked at them and said, "Pads. I got you both pads." I got a tablet last week. My early birthday/Christmas present from me to me. And now I go to bed because I am tired. No video either, but I will leave with a pic of a gorgeous sunset last week. The photo does not do it justice at all.