Archive for the Maniacal Monday Category

“Laughter through tears is my favorite emotion.”

While I will use a quote from Steel Magnolias at the drop of a hat, I can’t say that one is entirely true. Namely because I am not a big fan of tears. Sometimes I just get so overwhelmed that I just know a good cry will help. Problem is, sometimes I am totally distraught, but yet just too numb to have the meltdown I need.

On top of all the life going on around me, I got sick last week. At one point, I was real close to going to the ER. But the pain finally became less frequent and less severe thankfully before I had to take my daughter to her appointment. Now she had been asking for a bank account forever, and I told her I would take her to the bank after her appointment. So we did, and through the course of talking to the gentlemen setting everything up, he got to telling us stories. We laughed until we cried.

I felt so much better.

Someone told me that I should find something that will make me deep down belly laugh hard when I feel like I need to cry and can’t because I’ll get the same emotional release I need. I am definitely a believer now. Of course I have to over-analyze everything I do and experience, and this was no exception. I will, however, spare you that introspection and analyzation and just leave it as is.

Sometimes, I just need to laugh and laugh hard. Even when I hurt.

Here, there, and nowhere

I fell over in Walmart yesterday. Stone cold sober, and not even sick. Just a word of caution: If the aisle seems too narrow to turn your cart around, it is. I guess it was just my turn to be an example of peopleofwalmart.com. Hopefully the other lady in the aisle didn’t snap a picture and upload it. I never looked back. lol

I think that is Tiger’s favorite spot. Or maybe his second favorite because his favorite spot may be the one where his butt is in my face.

It was a really nice weekend. I got out Saturday and spent a lot more time out than I intended. I really wanted to go for a bike ride, but I took James to Lee & Rachel’s. I wanted Starbucks, and since we were close(ish) to Southern Pines, that’s where I went. I did not, however, stop at Starbucks as half of Moore County was there. So I went to Hobby Lobby after I had taken a few photos around the area.

I sat Saturday night sorting and organizing my fasteners.

It was quite relaxing and I was almost able to completely block out what Chad and Alex were watching. The only thing I really managed to accomplish was washing my clothes and picking up my Flonase prescription.

This post really has nothing to do with anything. But it’s a post. With pictures. ;)

Making the most of it

I had to run a virtual 5k this weekend because my foot was broken the previous weekend. “Broken” is an exaggeration. It hurt like it was broken, but 1) I didn’t go to the doctor over it and 2) whatever I did to it happened at work while I was sitting at my desk. Saturday was just nasty windy, and so was yesterday morning. But after noon yesterday, the wind died down some, and the sun was out and I made myself go run. I tried every way I could think of to not do it and yet still count it, but I finally just texted Karyn and Molly “Tell me to run,” knowing they would give me that bit of motivation I needed to just go do it.

I hated every single step of that run.

But. I’m working on finding bright spots among the suck. As I approached the halfway point, I noticed a pond. I’ve run past that house countless times, but yesterday was the first time I noticed that pond behind it. I noticed the squirrels, which really isn’t unusual. I noticed the frogs croaking in the ditch on the way back, and noticed how once I got past them, they stopped. And, by the way, I love the sound of a bunch of croaking frogs. I stopped at a neighbor’s house and chatted with him for a minute (pausing the workout – lol), and learned he was a boxer when he was younger.

The actual running (and my time) sucked, but the rest of it didn’t.

I tried to get the dogs in the photo with me, but only Brownie would even remotely cooperate. I also ripped a hole in the butt of my running tights while trying to get the dogs in the shot. :-/ But it really was a beautiful day for a run. The race was the Stop Stroke Shuffle 5k. Enjoyed supporting Dani’s cause, and would not feel the donation wasted if I hadn’t run. Thank you Dani for the reason to get off my butt! :)

Lucille 2 has left the building

You know what I haven’t done in a while? A list.

1. Instagram is so flaky via web. At least mine is. Likes I leave disappear. Comments I leave show up on different photos. Aggravating.

2. I wuss out so easily on a virtual run. As I was pushing my entire grocery budget full of groceries across the Walmart parking lot Saturday afternoon, I told Jamie that I would NOT be running outside in that wind. Then I texted Petra to say it would be 5 (4.97) elliptical miles. Then that didn’t even happen. Hindsight: I should tell Karyn and Molly before I have to run that I need to run. I listen to them better when exercise is involved.

3. Speaking of Petra, we went to La Dolce Vita Friday night because I wanted pizza. So after the waitress leaves after we gave her our orders Petra says to me, “Did you just wink at her?” I didn’t even realize I did it. There we have it. I’m a winker. Apparently. And I said “winker” not “wanker.”

4. I played with the C.O.R.E. Worship Team yesterday. As always it was fun, and this time I didn’t need my chord cheat except for one song. Bradford got us all together for a group shot after the last service (minus one):

The last service was extra fun (or funny) because I had a case of vertigo going on.

Vertigo

That’s how I felt. Like Lucille Two. I nearly fell over several times including in the bathroom.

5. This irritated me.

stickers-edited

I really dislike political and religious bumper stickers. Doesn’t matter what side either.

6. I’ve been really slack lately commenting on other people’s blogs. I’m still reading, I just can’t generally formulate anything more than “Hey, great post,” which just feels like commenting to get people to read my blog. Not that I have ever been above link whoring, but this just seems dirtier.

I need to start journaling again

I am really glad I haven’t written in my journal since February 7, 2013. Kind of. I’m glad because so much of it consists of a record of James’ drinking, and did not and do not need to keep track of that. The last entry was about my dad; the first time I put down in writing that he was verbally abusive, and that I suffered because of it. I have now pretty much addressed all that, and am working on healing (and not perpetuating it).

With those 2 big things to deal with, I am glad I finally broke down (literally), and am getting treatment. I am also glad that Dr Garlick convinced me to continue taking happy pills with the half dose. In fact, I might even see about having him add a mild anti-anxiety since recurrent anxiety is as big an issue and the recurrent depression.

And here I am still putting my junk out on the blog. lol. Except not really. There are things that I’ve heard and read over the past few days that I really need to capture. But it’s not stuff that needs to be blogged. So why even mention it at all in a blog post? :dunno: I don’t know. I feel like writing, but I just don’t really have anything to say?

Anyway, I see my feelings doctor this evening. She’ll get a lot of the details. :)

Maniacal Monday #29

I bought 2 new pairs of pants over the weekend. This morning I put on one of them thinking they were brown. They are purple. I’m not even the least bit mad. ;)

I am sick again. It’s the same crap as I had a couple of weeks ago so I guess the hubs and I are just passing it back and forth. Saturday felt like a hangover and it has gone downhill from there. And yes, I am guzzling water.

I made a little trip to Cary Friday that I didn’t really want to make. But, I got a pickup ordered for my acoustic guitar. Actually, 2 got ordered so I will have to take one back. :sigh: I picked up some stuff from Michaels which wasn’t really a bad experience. The line wasn’t real crazy. But, I walked into Old Navy, and turned around and walked back out because it WAS crazy. Then I went to JC Penney to get a new purse, which is how I ended up with new pants and bras. Because sales. Anyway, I get back home, and James came out, and then asked “What happened?” while pointing at the front of my car.

I broke my car. I looked up underneath the bumper and saw bunch of dead grass stuck, and then remembered a few days ago turning too soon out of the driveway and hitting the ditch a little. Guess it was a little more hit than I thought. :(

Despite the sick, I was determined to get my hair cut Saturday. Nothing big, just layered. I was tired, and as the lady was cutting, there were a couple of times I shut my eyes, and was on the verge of napping. I think if it had been a dude, I would have gone to sleep because men play with your hair way more than women. Anyway, got that all done and went on a shopping trip to Walmart because I just couldn’t see any way around it without going farther than I wanted to go and spending more than I wanted to spend. The north Chatham Walmart wasn’t all crazy, and it really wasn’t a bad trip at all.

A couple of weeks or so ago, I saw a giveaway on a blog for a necklace that I loved! I’m pretty sure since I have heard nothing, I didn’t win. However, I thought, “I can make that.” It took a lot of trips for chains and connecting rings, and finally some ingenuity, but I made a similar necklace. Also, I made about 5 other necklaces, and have an idea I’m toying around with in my head with regards to jewelry making. I have no pictures yet.

Sunday morning, I had a weird dream. I have lots of weird dreams, but there was a lot of things in this dream that overlapped even though they are not at all related. I had to return a lawn mower to Lowes. But this Lowes in my dream had like a park on the grounds, and the Bridges family were there picnicking. Specifically, Gerald & Bonnie, Joe & Karyn & kids, and Jerry & Deanna & kids. Oh, and I haven’t met Jerry & Deanna in real life. I pretty much know what prompted them all being in the dream, but not at a park at Lowes. Anyway, so I decided the lawn mower in question needed to be tested one more time before returning, so I went out to the highway shoulder to mow. There was a woman out there mowing and she stopped to help a passerby whose car was pulled over on the shoulder in front of her. I needed to ask her if it was ok if I mowed a little bit too, and she wouldn’t stop and let me ask her that real quick so I yelled at her and made her let me ask. And then I mowed anyway, and the mower worked fine. After waking up, I realized that rude woman was the Commissary manager at Tinker AFB when I was stationed there who ignored me when I tried to stop and ask her about formula. Apparently, I am still angry about that incident. lol

I was on the worship team schedule for Sunday, and got there early in the pouring down rain. I was chatting with Pastor Nate a little bit, and he spoke an email into his phone for later, and then said how nice it is that Siri takes those down for him like that. I mentioned that my Siri can’t understand me because either I slur my words, or mumble, or talk too hillbilly to it. That prompted him to ask where I am from originally. Told him Arkansas and he said, “Really? Where in Arkansas?” So I gave him the standard where Morrilton is before saying Morrilton. Because even Arkansans don’t know where Birdtown is unless they are from Conway County or related. Anyway, he said, “So about an hour away from Stuttgart?” Because Pastor Benji was in Stuttgart duck hunting. Small world. Bradford had to change the key of one of the songs. Was not a big deal since it was just a B to A, and I was able to do the chord changes pretty well since it was just 4 chords. I think I lost my place playing during every single song. Shawn said it all sounded great, so I guess I didn’t do too bad. :) There was no afternoon service, and James was at Lee & Rachel’s for the afternoon, and I had a nice quiet house to myself for the afternoon. It was fantastic.

James cooked beans, but they didn’t get done until late, and I kept looking at a steak in the fridge and told him that it needed to be cooked or frozen soon. So he cooked it for me. He then said, that if it was too much that he would finish it off for me. I said, “Oh, I can take in a lot of meat.” And giggled. He said, “Yes, I know.” hahaha!

Last night, I was so worn out that I got in the bed at like 7. I was also cold and couldn’t get my feet warm, so that was another reason. Anyway, I was laying there reading, and my phone rang. After saying “What the heck” because no one calls my cell phone that late on a Sunday, I picked it up and it was Chad. So I answered with “Really?” He said something about Tumblr being blocked again, and I said “You could have just texted me.” Regardless, he didn’t know I was home. lol. And Tumblr was blocked again this morning even though I specifically allowed it multiple times, so I’m switching out AVG’s filter for NetNanny tonight.

Maniacal Monday #28

Let me start off with a confession. I didn’t run this weekend. I was going to Saturday, but I slept in, and then we had to go to Lowes, and then I had some Christmas prep to do which took well into Sunday. Plus, it was pretty stinking hot for the weekend before Christmas. Mid 70′s? Really? So I was like “I’ll run Sunday morning because it is supposed to rain and it won’t seem so hot.” Right. It didn’t rain until after 6pm. Whatevs. I start leave tomorrow, and will have the rest of the week to run/bike whenever. ;)

Christmas shows. So, I have several DVDs and one VHS of my favorite Christmas cartoons/claymations. Every year I take the time to watch all of them, though usually not in one big marathon viewing (not that there are that many), and I’ve just been doing one here and there. Last night I watched Frosty the Snowman. Like you care. lol. Anyway, so I am watching it, and the whole thing is just so ridiculously bad. I had to stop myself from voicing my irritation with the whole thing on social media. And then I had to watch The Year Without a Santa Claus to purge. As if that premise of a story is any better. ;)

I woke up with hives this morning. Fun times. I think I went to bed with them, but I didn’t realize the full scope of the itching until I got up this morning. :-/

Friday night I took both kids to A.C. Moore. It was supposed to just be Jamie and to only get yarn. $130 later… :eek: Chad started an “argument” with me on the way back. He was on the offensive, and I was trying to explain my position without being a jerk, but it was hard because I kept getting frustrated with myself for not being able to clearly articulate what I wanted to say. Meanwhile, Jamie was in the backseat laughing at the exchange which ended so ridiculously and abruptly with Jamie almost choking on her food from laughing so hard. She said later, “No one wins when Chad argues.” lol

Speaking of Lowes, we got paint Saturday as James wants to go ahead and paint the living room. Finally. I’ve been bemoaning those gray walls since we bought the place. He also told me how he wants to decorate the house, and essentially, the living room is going to become a “formal” dining room, and the den/family room will be the living room. Lots of work with that, but a lot of it will be finishing what was started in the den/family room.

Apparently Amber isn’t pregnant. And I think Tiger is the one in heat because he seems to be after her much more than she is bawling. Why haven’t I gotten them fixed yet? :sigh: Also, someone pooped in the floor instead of the litter box during the night. Pretty sure that was KitKat.

And finally, here is a little Snow Miser and Head Miser. Because they make that show. :)

Hello again Monday

I didn’t miss you. Monday, that is. ;)

I also never got around to writing anything after last Monday. Therapy + sick + work + avoidance = DragonLady going all honey badger. As in honey badger got stung by the cobra and had to take a nap. lol

I didn’t really do much of anything over the weekend. I took Jamie to A.C. Moore in the rain, and took one look at the line at Starbucks and we both decided we did not need any fru-fru coffee. We stopped at the thrift store in an effort to find her a scarf, but they didn’t have one she wanted. They did, however, have a black shawl I wanted, so score! She already called me old over it. Stop judging me. ;)

Anyway, once we got back home, I didn’t leave the house again until this morning. Today was my annual physical, and that’s just always fun. I was hoping not to get the bonus rectal exam because exit only, but alas. :sigh: He did say that if my pap is normal that we could do that every 3 years instead of annually since I am low risk in that area. And again he mentioned that I would be getting a colonoscopy when I am 45…which is just a little over a year away. Ugh. My bad cholesterol is high, but my good cholesterol is good and the ratio between the 2 is in the normal range. I didn’t even pay attention to my blood pressure, and he didn’t mention it so I guess it’s ok. It pretty much has been fine since I started running and lost weight. Go figure. ;) Everything else blood-wise is fine except for vitamin D which is pretty stinking low. So I will be taking 4000 UI instead of my sporadic 1000 UI. And we are cutting the dosage for my happy pills to see if that is behind the increase in muscle and joint pain. Given the non-improvement of the situation(s) that prompted me to ask for happy pills, he recommended I continue to take them for a while which might not be a bad idea since my co-workers last week said “I don’t know how you are handling all that so well.” The Doc said something similar. Therapy and happy pills. And a LOT of prayer. And whiny texts to Petra. lol

I brought up one of the issues tonight, and it got talked about. I disagree with the reasoning, but I understand. And so patience I must have.

Had to run to the dollar store because Chad wasn’t kidding when he said he was out of paper, and I needed a couple of things that are just so much cheaper there. I got him and Jamie both new notebooks, and as soon as I got back they both started in with “What did you get me?” Will they ever outgrow that? Anyway, I looked at them and said, “Pads. I got you both pads.”

I got a tablet last week. My early birthday/Christmas present from me to me.

And now I go to bed because I am tired. No video either, but I will leave with a pic of a gorgeous sunset last week. The photo does not do it justice at all.

Maniacal Monday #27

I’m in a pretty craptastic mood (still), and actually spent yesterday evening looking forward to going to work.

I got up Saturday morning and ran the 12ks of Christmas. I mostly ran the whole thing. James called me right at the last mile and nearly threw me all off so I walked up that last hill while putting my phone back in the carrier case. But, I ran down the final stretch determined not to be dead last. lol. And I got the finisher’s medal, and most of the tribers waited on me to finish, and Nicole and George both gave me hugs which was just so sweet. My 1 picture was made when I finally got back to the car.

15-ReindeerRun12k

Oh, and I am still tremendously sore. :sigh:

George invited me to a race on Facebook, and I thought it looked interesting and invited Karyn also just because. Well, she will actually be in town, and so we are both registered for the Morrow Mountain Trail Race 15K which we may or may not end up regretting. And on that note, I think we both signed up for 14 in 2014. I did anyway, and I think Karyn is going to if she hasn’t already. I don’t plan on running anything longer than the Tar Heel 10 Miler, and that one only because I signed up for it last year. Because finisher’s medal. ;)

And the broken out window in the living room finally got fixed. It’s not completely fixed, but the panes are in place and just need to be caulked in. But it didn’t happen before tragedy struck. Sushi/Mako somehow got out of it, and the dogs made short work of ending her life. :wail:

RIP Sushi/Mako

RIP Sushi/Mako

I got caught up on grading this weekend, and got the kids’ work graded, mostly recorded, and new schedules made. There was one portion of Jamie’s Algebra II that I reassigned with “We will go over this together,” because she 1) didn’t seem to get it and 2) had a big “help” written on one of the assignments.

So, I went to YouTube looking for a Fleetwood Mac’s Oh Well, and found this.

Maniacal Monday #26

I woke up with a raging case of brain fog. This after 10 hours of sleep. I was in bed just after 7 last night, and completely out by 8. I hit the snooze a few too many times this morning and so had to make a phone call on my way to work saying I was on my way. That always throws off my groove.

Thanksgiving ruined me. 5 pounds gained. Ugh.

So the Razorbacks were beating LSU, and then I stood in the living room for about 5-10 seconds waiting on my food to heat up in the microwave, and in those few seconds, LSU made the game-winning touchdown. This is why I am not a Hog fan.

On a good football note, the Morrilton Devil Dog football team is going to state. WooHOO! I found my old band jacket over the weekend, and I’m pretty sure once I clean it up, I’ll be wearing it until the game to support my old alma mater.

It mostly still fits. And someone needs to clean that mirror. ;)

Charlotte posted this on Facebook the other morning. Oh man. I am so having my doc test my magnesium level.

Jamie ate an entire ball of wasabi Saturday. It was both terrible and hilarious.

I ordered new running shoes. Finally. I hope they come in before this Saturday.

Speaking of Saturday’s 12k. So my knee decided to go out last week and I could barely get around Friday and Saturday, so there was no run this weekend. Nor was there any biking. So the 12k this Saturday is going to suck. But I was walk/crawl for a finisher’s medal. ;)

I played yesterday at church, and after that post last week getting my insecurity out in the open, I wasn’t really nervous yesterday. Oh I still screwed up chords and even managed a false start or 2 singing during the last service because I got lost, but it didn’t feel devastating. I also had a real good short talk with Bradford after the last service that filled in the missing gap in getting it all right in my head as far as confidence. I took a pic of the stage that morning. Because Christmas. :)

I was so exhausted last night when I got home. Which is why I went to bed so early. It was a good tired though.

And the tree has been found and brought in the house so perhaps this weekend it will go up.