Archive for the Diet Category

Never say never

Never-WM I've done a few things lately that I swore I'd never do. Like plucking and shaping my eyebrows. I wore my bushy, manly brows like a badge earned from railing against conforming to western feminine culture. But then I decided to get my eyebrow pierced, and one of my coworkers talked me into eyebrow maintenance. And I haven't gotten the piercing. Yet. I also said I would never get back up to 200 pounds. But I did. It's not the number on scale so much as the clothes that are no longer fitting, or at least not fitting comfortably. And the reason my spare tire got reinflated is that I stopped eating healthy and running regularly. I stopped being disciplined about my physical health. It's a discipline issue. I was reminded that I know how to eat healthy, and I know how to exercise regularly. I've done it before. I lost 40 pounds, and felt great. (Physically) I can do it again, but I have to discipline myself to do it. I made myself a schedule. That would be another thing I wasn't ever going to do. Oh, I've been all about putting appointments on the calender, but not planning out my days like I did. Because it seemed legalistic. I stood at my whiteboard and wrote down everything I have to do every day (critical tasks) and at what times. Like work and sleep. I made those non-negotiables. Although even that is within reason because of Thursday night rehearsal. I'm not getting home before 9pm from rehearsal, and therefore won't be in bed by 9pm. But that's also (normally) only twice a month. I then listed out essentials like church and meetings. I don't have to do these like I have to go to work, but I am making them non-negotiables nonetheless. My spiritual and emotional health are dependent upon those. Then I worked in "me time." These are also non-negotiable because 1) I need alone time to recharge because I am an introvert, 2) I need time for self-care (exercise, meditation, reading), and 3) I have interests that I am going to work on that I need alone time for - like writing. I even scheduled social time even though church, meetings, and the running club constitute social time also. But it's a more specific social time like coffee/dinner with friends. All because in order to do everything I want and need to do for my health, I need some serious discipline. I know me. I know what I do without structure, and it is largely unproductive. And so now I am telling myself that I should not say, "You will never be able to get your life manageable because you will never be organized." I've never really tried.

Happy New Year (at the end of January)

January is practically over. Where has the month gone? I mean it seems like just yesterday I was complaining about how long it was taking to get to January 20. That is another post that I might eventually finish and publish. Aw, what the heck. That was my 1 year mark. 1 whole dang year sober. I deliberately didn't do a 2015 goals post. No sense in setting myself up for failure. That isn't to say I don't have any goals, but I know some of them aren't going to happen until spring. Like running consistently. I did, however, run New Year's Day morning. I did another run on my own and then did a run with Karyn like we used to do back in the day. You know, I knew I missed running with her, but I didn't really realize how much I missed it until that run. And I got to see Molly again! It was a short visit, but it was so great to see her face to face again. I'm back with the worship team at church. I had really missed playing and singing with them, and, well, it just seems like more fun now. Probably because I'm not so stressed out in general as I was for a while. Jamie has her driver's license and her Granny's car, so I have a go-fer now. And she drives herself to her appointments. And takes Chad and James to theirs. And makes me carsick when I ride with her. So now she can get a J-O-B. So can James. And Chad. I successfully completed my chiropractic treatment plan. Oh man. It is so nice to not wake up with a headache every single day. Granted, I woke up with one this morning, but I've been sick all week, and it's not just my head that hurts. Anyway, I only have to go once a month now. On the subject of fewer appointments, I have mentally and emotionally recovered enough that I only have to see my therapist every 3 weeks. She really pisses me off sometimes when she tells me what I don't want to hear...or address. ;) Speaking of addressing things, my diet. Ugh. It got bad over Christmas and subsequently so did the pain in my joints. And I got so glutened. So I will be cooking today in an effort to reduce the processed food I am ingesting. And saying no to candy, though I would like to know what I did with the Dove bar I bought last night that seems to have not made it from Lowes to my house. Amber is pregnant again. That cat is such a ho.

Funday Friday #23

I had a small breakthrough this week. I found one of my pairs of arch supports, and started wearing them Wednesday. I had no lower back pain yesterday after I put my shoes on, and have had none at all today. Now maybe I will be motivated to go find the other pair or 2 I own. Along with that one pair of boots I can't seem to find. Speaking of Wednesday. The hubster went to court again Wednesday morning, and has yet another continuance. :sigh: But, this time his lawyer was not feeling well, and James said he looked really bad up close, so probably a good thing. But there was a good photo op in the parking lot. James spotted it, and we both found it funny. Yes, it is juvenile. Whatevs. ;) I'm about to make some dietary changes...again. Breakfast will not be the same. On the other hand, I should really pick up the phone and make an appointment with Dr Garlick to get some testing done. For your daily TMI, you get another little work story. I came back from the bathroom this morning and said to the other female in the office, "That was round one. Consider that a warning." A few minutes later, she gets up, and then comes back and says, "Martha!" To which I responded, "What? I warned you." Apparently she didn't wait long enough. And she knew I had chili last night. lol Evie won't bite anybody or anything. Except Jamie. I think instead of running a 5k in the morning, I will run "the loop" which is 3.4 miles. Because I haven't run it in a while. And I need to get in some hills before next weekend's 5k. I need a haircut. KitKat has stopped sleeping on the ledge and falling off. She is napping in my office again. Amber acts like she thinks KitKat is a male and seems to be trying to seduce her. SMH. Tiger might have hit it the other day. :-/ But last night Tiger just smelled her and then ran off. KitKat is the only one that's been fixed. The rest of them need fixing. I will gladly let someone pay for that. ;) I guess this is all I got. The following was in the recommended videos when I got the link for Jamie and Evie, and I found it hilarious. :)

Battling “hunger”

I'm sticking to the schedule again. 3 days in a row! :shock: Molly blames Petra for turning me into a health food nut (for lack of a better term), but really, Dr. Garlick takes the bulk of the blame. Petra just reinforced what he has been telling me for years. Not that I trust her over an M.D., but I see and talk to her a lot more than Dr. Garlick. I don't consistently heed her advice either. But she is pretty consistently right which is why when she looks me in the eye and tells me "You need to stop _____," I tend to do it. Especially when she points out the glaring why. But I digress. Anywho, I mentioned in a post a couple of days (or weeks) ago that my lax eating led to my constant "hunger." I quote hunger because I am by no means really hungry. After reading Eat to Live and making an effort to eat that way (which was why I twice attempted to eat vegan), I learned the difference between how my body tells me I'm really hungry and when my body just wants to eat something. When I eat food that contains no msg or any artificial flavoring, I don't have a problem with the stomach growling food craving. The craving is almost always for bread/pasta, cheese, or sugar. When I eat foods that haven't been artificially flavored, I don't feel the need to eat as much, and don't get the overwhelming cravings for high-carb, low-nutrition comfort food. Yeah, so above where I digressed, now I will get back to where I started to prematurely go. Petra called me out for comfort eating and drinking. Starting with "You need to stop drinking." She didn't say it all harsh, but I had been saying it harshly to myself. And she's right. I was seeking comfort in alcohol and food instead of Jesus just like she said. I think it may go deeper than that, and that I have elevated comfort itself (or my ideal of it) as a god. This is why I have to abandon my old coping mechanisms because all they ever did was mask and deny the real problem(s) which in turn never got addressed. All this said, I am turning back to healthier eating by eliminating the artificial flavorings and colors. And definitely the MSG. I know I need to eliminate the artificial preservatives as well, but while not eliminating totally, I am keeping those minimal. And no more Pumpkin Spice Lattes from Starbucks. :sigh:

Funday Friday #17

1. I am going to start writing that book. 2. I locked my keys in the truck at work yesterday. That was an extra hour I didn't want to spend there waiting on AAA, but one of my co-workers stayed with me and let me borrow his phone because mine was in the truck with my keys. This is the downside of daily using the keyless entry on my "fancy" car. ;) 3. My daughter was scheduled for an English test yesterday. I forgot to give her the test. Told her this morning that I would give it to her tonight. She asked if I would give it to her this morning (since she and Chad were still up playing Call of Duty when I got up). The printer decided to have issues, so no test this morning. :sigh: 4. So the other night, Jamie came to my office to get KitKat (KitKat feels abandoned by Jamie now over Amber), and KitKat had a dead mouse under her. I was working on printing out a test for Jamie so I handed her a paper towel to pick up the dead mouse and dispose of it. Then as I stepped closer to the printer to flip the pages over (it's a 3 in 1 printer/copier/scanner), I stepped on something cold, wet, and squishy. Another dead mouse. Yes, I was barefoot. So I took that one out and hosed down my bare foot with vinegar. Later that night just before I finally fell deep asleep, James woke me up with "KitKat just found a copperhead in your office." A lot more drama ensued before he came back and told me it was dead and he would get rid of it the next day. Turns out it was not a copperhead, but a rat snake. And I have claimed KitKat as my own. Even though she is still gross. But she is welcome in this spot now. I even scratch her scabby belly. She's allergic to fleas. Aside from her fat, she's not so gross during the winter when the fleas are gone. 5. I actually read the Medication Guide that I get with my Celexa prescription this morning. "Do not drink alcohol while using citalopram." Oops. 6. Since I was running a little behind this morning thanks to repeatedly hitting the snooze and deciding I had gone long enough this week without washing my hair, I drank my breakfast this morning via Pumpkin Spice Latte. Thank goodness (sort of) that the baristas know me because what I ordered (without realizing it) was "triple venti vanilla spice latte." She was like "are you sure you want vanilla spice?" LOL 7. Tomorrow is the full half marathon. Guess who will be DNR... I might manage to do 2 miles tomorrow. 8. I am still paying for my last glutening...2 weeks ago. Ugh. 9. I'm thinking that the hubster and I are actually going to make it to our 20 year anniversary this month. If for no other reason than to have dinner at Shuckers. ;) 10. Despite all the work that needs to be done around this house this weekend, I am so looking forward to the weekend. Mainly sleeping in. But also to some tunage. You can thank Petra for this: Happy Friday!!

First things first

Sometimes, I think up a title, get distracted before I start writing, and then sit here looking at the title wondering what the heck I was going to write about. This may will be totally different from what I was thinking about originally. I'm not very organized. I know how to be. I know how to be so organized that I can tell if something has been moved even if it is in the spot where it belongs. I learned that because that's how my dad was. Everything had a place and it was to stay in it's place. I, of course, couldn't keep my hands off of stuff, and therefore I learned how to put his stuff (mainly tools) back in the exact spot they were. That may be why I'm not so organized now. Rebellion is very deep-rooted in me. ;) On the other hand, being that OCD just costs too much mental energy. 9 days later, I am back to this draft, and I have absolutely no idea where I was going with that. I'm leaving it there because that's just how I roll. I also really don't know where to go with the whole post, but whatever. It's not like I've never written a rambling post before. ;) It is now 5 days later since I started this paragraph. Really? Not only am I not running the full marathon, I am not running the half either. The thought of running the last 4 miles with a backache is extremely unappealing. So whatever. I have nothing to prove since I have run 2 half marathons already. I have 2 races left to run this year to get in my 13 in 2013. Easy peasy. I do now, however, have more time to devote to homeschool stuffs. Like tutoring my son in Algebra and explaining transitive and intransitive verbs to my daughter. I also do not now have to stress on running. I can do 3-6 miles and enjoy it again. And buy a new bike maybe instead of new shoes. I have big plans. haha And I can make weekend plans without having to worry about being sore or running out of time. Seriously. We went to Lee & Rachel's Saturday and I had a blast! And I passed my audition Sunday so I am excited about being part of a worship team again. So yeah. Rambling and pointless. But this is now out of my drafts hole. ;)

“Like sands through the hourglass…”

And now all I can hear is the theme music from Days of our Lives. I never was a big fan. I watched it enough to know the long time characters, but I just couldn't ever stay into soaps. Except Santa Barbara. But I dumped it when Lane Davies left. Anywho... I'm tired. It seems all I did over the weekend was grading. I really hope the kids don't get all behind like that again this week. :sigh: I did clean out my car though. The back floorboard was starting to look like a dumpster. It needs to be washed, but ain't nobody got time fo dat. If Granny Eoff's fresh apple cake recipe was ever a secret, it isn't anymore. I posted it on Facebook for a couple of folks, and at least 3 people reshared. lol But, I have Aunt Cora's Italian Cream Cake recipe now, so it's all good. And that all came about because I shared a old picture of my then young Granny for #throwbackthursday. I didn't run this weekend. Don't judge me. I took Chad out and let him practice driving...my car. :nervous2: He did good, but I still could have used a valium. ;) I didn't learn from another's mistake and ate a Snickers Friday evening. Oh, yes, it was a mistake. And, I'm all set to audition next week for the C.O.R.E. Worship team. By all set I mean I told Bradford I could do it next Sunday. Eek! It's now time to get serious about learning those songs. I mean, I know them, but I need to know them without the crutch of words and chords in front of me. Still didn't get around to making Petra a pie. Because it's just so hard to peel and slice apples. ;) The kids got their new glasses today. Oh, and since I gave up the caffeine, I am sleeping better at night. Huh. Really, I wasn't drinking much and rarely had any after lunch, but I am sleeping for longer than an hour or two at a time. AND I'm not having so many headaches. Chad didn't appreciate me playing this when his friends were over Saturday night. I enjoyed it immensely. ;)

“You have to do the weekday runs!”

I decided to revive my themed posting days. Mainly I am just trying to force myself to post every day again and do so in ways that aren't snarky criticisms. Because I have a load of those I could write. But anyway, this is kind of a "long story" version of how my marathon training is going. And it isn't going well. With Karyn gone, I really don't have that same accountability to git 'er dun, and plus I spent a few Saturday morning in Al-Anon meetings. It's just so much harder to get up and run on a Sunday morning. So, Brenda called me Sunday and started off asking me about how my training was going. I was honest with her, and so she let me have it. Hence the title of this post plus she added "You have got to get your full long runs in. At least 18." *sigh* Well, this past weekend, I only ran a 10k. And it hurt because I slept in all weekend the previous weekend and didn't get a single run in during the week. Brenda decided that while she can't run with me here, she can run when I run and I gotta run when she runs. Well, she ran yesterday but I told her up front that's a rest day. Or it was. I will get back into the Monday runs. But I will run with the Tribe this evening. And, I will run either tomorrow or Thursday evening. Or maybe both since she made sure to tell me that it is better to do 3 runs during the week. And I HAVE to do 18 this weekend. Now, all that said, the hubster is willing to run with me, and has come on most of my long runs since Karyn moved. There is a big difference though. Karyn is a speed demon who would run off and leave me (and I am ok with that), but that would keep me running because I knew the faster I finished, the less time she had to wait on me to finish. I don't really have that with James. Yes, he will push me and encourage me, but he will also let me drop to a walk. I'm not yet to the point that I can run again once I walk. BUT. I always have a but to put in any excuse. lol I told Brenda about how if I start walking I am done and can't run again. She said, "You know that's mental too, right?" Ugh. Well, yeah. I hadn't really thought about that, but it is. She said she used to be the same way, but now she can walk for a little bit and then be able to run again. She didn't get on me about this, but she also mentioned eating and drinking right. I have not been drinking water like I should ever since I started taking the "happy pills." So I have to force myself to drink more water. I know my diet could be better, and I have been cutting out the junk food I was eating. Overall, my training thus far has been a big epic fail. With 5 1/2 weeks left, I may or may not be able to run 26.2 miles, but I will give it a go. Because I paid for it already. ;)

Maniacal Monday #19

So, I haven't blogged in a few days and I guess I should write something given the dark nature of 2 of the 3 last posts. 1. I feel a whole lot better. I went to my doctor and asked for something to help me function. I'm really grateful that our doctor is a family doctor who knows me and my husband pretty well, and so I really didn't have to go into too great a detail of what all was going on. I did let him know I was going to Al-Anon and wanted counseling for the additional issue(s) that got dredged up. He understood, and just asked if I needed something for the mental or mental and physical. I told him just mental, and he gave me an antidepressant which had me feeling stoned out of my mind for about 5 days before my body adjusted to it. He also told me to absolutely keep running and why. And he gave me referrals for counseling, and I have an appointment with a psychologist Wednesday. 2. Al-Anon. Now that I am "drugged up," I can attend meetings without crying the whole time. Granted, it is ok to sit and cry through a whole meeting, but I prefer to have my meltdowns in the privacy of my shower. I've gone to a 3 different groups: a beginner's group, and 2 regular groups. I really like the beginner's group because of it's focus on newcomers. Of the other 2 groups, one is pretty big, and one pretty small. I like the smaller group even though they spent a lot more time on me than my social anxiety was comfortable with. Regardless, I should have gone to Al-Anon years ago. 3. Running. Ugh. The marathon training is kicking my butt. I do fine with the short runs, but the long runs are a succession of fails. Quite discouraging. And I miss my running partner Karyn. :( 4. I am now officially chief administrator of a homeschool. And my daughter is a lot closer to having enough credits to graduate than I thought so that should be able to graduate at the end of this school year. The only thing my son passed last year was gym. :sigh: Looks like it will take summer school to ever get him back on track. 5. We have electricity again in the master bedroom & bathroom! After replacing all the switches and outlets, the culprit had to be a wire. There is a light in the attic, and I told the hubby that we need to check that before we start tearing out walls. That light was ok, but he traced the wire he could see on the attic side of our bedroom and found this: The mouse tried to fit through the same hole as the wire through the 2x4 in the corner, got stuck, and proceeded to chew through the wire...and got fried. So we just had to replace a few feet of wire between outlets that (unfortunately) went around a corner, but yet (fortunately) was half in the attic so there was minimal wall damage around one outlet. This is the damaged wire that was inside the stud: I cannot tell you how nice it was to sleep in my bed again. And have bright light in the bathroom. Because the lantern just wasn't cutting it. 6. Mice. They are everywhere. KitKat will not stay in my daughter's room anymore because she is stalking. I sat in the living room the other evening and watched a mouse running back and forth through the kitchen, but KitKat was perched in the laundry room where she couldn't see it, and Gizmo wasn't anywhere to be seen. :sigh: And the kittens keep themselves to the back of the house when they are let out. 7. Fleas. I don't know which is worse. The mice or the fleas. It's almost as if Gizmo is producing fleas. Winter can't come quick enough. Just sayin'. 8. All our lawn equipment is back and fixed, and the hubby mowed the front before it got way too far out of control. The back is way out of control though. 9. The hubby finally got paid, and bought the boy a moped. (The blue one.) photo(3) And less than 24 hours later, I got a call from my son telling me "I crashed! I need help!" He got pretty scuffed up, but it could have been so much worse. [caption id="attachment_1674" align="aligncenter" width="225"]Elbow Elbow[/caption] [caption id="attachment_1675" align="aligncenter" width="225"]Knee from top Knee from top[/caption] [caption id="attachment_1676" align="aligncenter" width="225"]Knee from front Knee from front[/caption] The faceplate is why his face didn't look like his knee. One of his hands was pretty scuffed up too. 10. Diet. I really need to stop eating tater tots. Also, I found some gluten free wasabi peas at Harris Teeter. Only thing, some of the peas are so hard that it is like chewing up gravel. And I think that is pretty much it.

The best laid plans…

...and goals. And who gets a cold on the eve of the beginning of summer? Oh, me. But I'm getting better (said in a bad English accent attempting to quote The Holy Grail). Anyway, I'm going to do a quick recap of the previous linked goals from January. 1. It took a couple of months, but I figured out what my lack of rest problem was. It wasn't so much a work issue, but a stress issue. I got out of the one stressful situation I could, and it's been easier to deal with the others. Way easier. And no, I will not go public with what that thing was. 2. I have done 7 races so far. I am registered for a half next month, and a full in October, and plan on doing the CARA 10k in August. I may even do the labor day 8k I did last year just to redeem myself from all the wrong things I did last year before that race. Bottom line, I am still on track with this one. 3. I decided I liked knitting better. Go figure. 4. :sigh: I did do a couple of pushups a couple months ago. I may not have broken the plane, but whatever. It was better than falling on my face on the way down. ;) 5. This has been so tough. That's all I have to say about that. 6. Yeah, this hasn't happened since like March. 7. I've had a lot of hotdogs and tater tots the last couple of months. And cider. And wine. And Starbucks. :-/ Speaking of Starbucks, this is kind of an aside, but I got about a half mile from the front gate and realized I left my purse at home. And this is the first morning I have deliberately speeded to work in forever because I pittle-farted around the house for way too long and wanted to limit how late I was going to be. First, I was both thankful and sad that I had enough change in the car to pay for a tall blonde. Sad because I wanted a triple venti vanilla latte and my Starbucks card is in my purse. However, in the parking lot I remembered that I have the Starbucks app on my phone. SCORE! So I was able to use that to pay for my fru-fru coffee. Also, I gave up my semi-anonymity on Twitter and put my real name up on it. Figured I would make it less of an effort for NSA. ;) The DragonLady pseudonym/alter-ego still stands in the blogsphere though. That said, I was forced to use my real name commenting on some blog last week because I had to use my Google profile. Eh. I ran across this by accident on Twitter yesterday morning and decided I'm going to give the 21-Day Plank Challenge #plankwithbex & Delta Labs a go. Did my first plank last night, and shook like crazy for the last 15 or 30 seconds or so of my 36 second plank. I'm feeling it today. Just sayin'.