I was listening to the radio one morning back in December, and by radio I mean SiriusXM. I reached the point where there is just so many times per day I can listen to Sleigh Ride by the Ronettes, and if I never hear that Christmas song by John & Yoko I would be fine. Anyway, I gave up on the Christmas stations, and went through my usuals, and ended up on 80′s on 8 which I am sure is a complete shock to anyone who knows me. Granted, I did spend a few more seconds on 70s than normal listening to Truckin’ by The Grateful Dead and wondering (again) what is the appeal to the Dead. Just like Pink Floyd. Anyway, Van Halen was playing on the 80s, and more specifically, Van Hagar. And I thought to myself, “You know, as much as I hate to admit it, I like Van Hagar better than classic Van Halen.” Even though I am such a non-fan of Sammy Hagar. I resolved to go public with that, and those stakes got upped even higher in the office that morning over Nelson. Yes, I was a fan, and still listen to them from time to time.
What does that have to do with anything? More than I like to admit. When I wrote about facing fear, I wasn’t entirely sure what I was going to have to face. Well, one of those things is caring too much about what other people think about me to the point that I will try to change things as asinine as what kind of music I like to “fit in” with others. And now roughly 3 months later since I started this post, I have a good idea.
I have to completely change the way I think about almost everything.
While that is kind of frightening, it is also surprisingly liberating. I don’t have to continue to be bound by destructive and paralyzing thinking patterns born out of seeking approval from others. Of course, on the flip side of that, I have to figure out who I am. That’s both scary and exciting.