Archive for December 2012

The last Monday of 2012

By on December 31, 2012

It’s amazing the difference having a restful Sunday makes on a Monday. I still wanted to sleep in, and wish I had taken today off instead of boxing day, but I don’t feel emotionally drained. More on that later. Seeing as how it is the last day of 2012, and a recap of the year seems to be the thing to do, here goes a quickie:

    Came out of the worst depression ever.

    Accepted a challenge to eliminate artificial flavors/colors/preservatives from my diet and went through awful physical withdrawls. Twice.

    Failed at my exercise and reading challenges…and still can’t do even one pushup.

    Figured out a bunch of food sensitivities in addition to gluten.

    Found a metal rooster that dwarfed Beyonce.

    ROOSTER DOWN!!!!

    Had surgery to remove a nasal polyp. 2nd time.

    Learned that I can take Vicodin without getting sick if I take Phenargen first. The better option would still be Percocet.

    Lost over 30 pounds, went down 2 trouser sizes, and 1 shirt size.

    Running: First managed to run a full mile, then a 5k, then a 10k, then a half marathon, and then a Thanksgiving 8k to redeem myself from the Labor Day 8k.




    Discovered (the hard way) that I am super allergic to hair dye now.

    I learned that I can really open up to my friends and share my skeletons and that it really helps to heal from past issues.

    “Had” to buy a new riding mower. And a new push mower.

    My mom turned 80.

    Flew sober.

    Had a 29 day period.

    Nearly went vegan. Twice. Didn’t make it past 2 weeks either time.

    Our cat Simon got hit by a car and killed.

    My dog escaped one too many times, and met the same fate as Simon.

    Mittens went missing after the second to last Darci escape and is presumed dead since she hasn’t been seen since August.

    My youngest started high school.

    Took 3 of Petra’s cats.

    Was surprised with a large sum of unexpected money and was able to pay off all credit card and vehicle debt.

    Broke down and got glasses.

    Got another mammogram (first since 2006) which resulted in another biopsy (just like 2006).

    Rehab, DWI, and a totaled van.

    Mourned the sudden death of my first love.

    Complete emotional breakdown that I let spill onto others, and not in a good way.

My phone doesn’t really do it justice, but I got to see a beautiful sunrise this morning.

This entry is filed under Diet, Exercise, Fail, Faith, Family, Life, LinkWhoring, Maniacal Monday, Photos, Ramble, Running, Sad. | 4 Comments

Weep with those who weep

By on December 18, 2012

My heart shattered with one phone call. As soon as Brenda started talking, I knew it was bad news. Really bad news. “There’s been another accident…”

Rescue squad member killed in Conway County vehicle crash

I have a feeling I was the first person Brenda called after she found out, and I felt so inadequate. I mean, I know there is nothing I can say or do to ease the pain, but I want to. For the whole family.

I grieve with them. I spent nearly as much time at the Whitbey’s house when I was in high school as I did my own. They became a second family, and I called Rita & Bill “Mom and Dad” as if they were my parents, too. Brenda and her siblings are like my own, except I am an only child so my siblings are friends siblings. But that didn’t really apply to Kevin since we dated off and on, so there was a whole different dynamic to that relationship.

He was the second classmate lost in just a couple days. Our class has been hard hit even before we graduated with accidents, suicide, and even murder. But this is the first within our tight group of friends. We had friendships that spanned different groups, but yet we had a core group of 10-15 people who met together before school and during lunch to hang out, and in smaller little groups on weekends based on work schedules. I’ve mourned each classmate lost, and sometimes with wishing I had known them better. None have hurt like this.

I ask that you pray for his family. His parents who have lost their son. His sisters and brother who have lost their big brother. His grandmother who has lost a grandson. His children and grandchildren who have lost their loving dad and grandpa. For his uncles, aunts, nieces, nephews, and cousins. For his friends, who are many, and have lost a kind and caring friend.

Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
(Romans 12:15 ESV)

This entry is filed under Family, Life, Sad. | 6 Comments

More than I can handle

By on December 12, 2012

I am going to state up front, that Pastor Roger preached a sermon about this earlier this year, so it isn’t something I came up with on my own. On the other hand, it isn’t straight-up plagiarism either. I hope. 😉

I have heard it said many times that “God won’t give you more than you can handle.” The thing is, I haven’t found that in the Bible. There is this:

No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it. (1 Corinthians 10:13 ESV)

But that is dealing only with temptation and not trials of life. Sometimes we get so bombarded with trial after trial on top of trial, and I for one am right now at the point that I don’t think I can handle one more trial. I told a friend last week that maybe I should meltdown on the next person that tells me how strong I am. lol Because seriously, I am NOT as strong as I appear. Not even remotely close.

This isn’t the first time I have felt like I had more than I can handle, but I have to say that this time around it’s like the hits keep coming. Several years ago, I was tdy to Ft Gordon for class, and one day we all went to Myrtle Beach. At some point, I got knocked under by a wave, and when I came up, I got smacked by another before I could catch my breath, and this went on for a couple more waves before I finally got my feet planted which was well after panic set in. That’s kind of how I feel now; like the waves are coming faster than I can get a breath.

For we do not want you to be unaware, brothers, of the affliction we experienced in Asia. For we were so utterly burdened beyond our strength that we despaired of life itself. Indeed, we felt that we had received the sentence of death. But that was to make us rely not on ourselves but on God who raises the dead. He delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will deliver us again. You also must help us by prayer, so that many will give thanks on our behalf for the blessing granted us through the prayers of many. (2 Corinthians 1:8-11 ESV)

Last week I let one of my friends at work know about one of the biggest trials going on because it is/was to have an impact on me being at work. Turns out not a huge impact at this point, but I’m not getting into that yet. Anyway, she asked me a few minutes later, “How can you stand there and smile like everything is ok?” I answered, “I have a lot of friends praying for me.” Well, that and I am pretty good at faking everything being ok when it isn’t.

In the midst of all this, I rely on God to get me though. To carry me when I don’t have the strength to get out of the bed in the morning. To give me the strength of will to hold my tongue rather than lash out in anger with verbal diarrhea. To not be so self-focused as to fail to pray for my friends who are going through their own trials. To remember that God is in control, and the suffering is temporary. To rest in the knowledge that Jesus redeemed me, and gave me the Holy Spirit to comfort and guide me…and to set my feet against the waves so I can breathe.

This entry is filed under Confessional, Faith, Theological Thursday, Trust. | 2 Comments